Coping with nighttime peeing - please advise

[Pinkcadillac]

My elderly dad (89) is waking up several times a night to pee. He goes through two pads that he changes himself with some difficulty as he has mobility issues, and he uses the commode. The bed linen needs to be washed every morning and there are spills too. My mum is at the end of her tether and my dad is distressed and bad tempered due to lack of rest at night.

I don't know how to help. We have tried several pads and the current ones seem to be the most absorbent. I don't live with them so cannot help with the nighttime changing of pads and washing, emptying commode.

His GP just advises drinking less water in the evening. I have gone through his meds and he is taking Urotec for enlarged prostate.

Also, I am making enquiries in care homes (private) and I was wondering how this problem is dealt with - frequent change of pads by the nighttime staff? Isn't this very disruptive if the room is shared?

TBH I'm not sure why I'm wondering about this as my dad is unlikely to agree to moving to a care home.

If anyone has any advise for treatments or how to manage this, I'd be so grateful. My poor mum is so stressed out and my dad is at breaking point.

That sounds tough

Would a sheath catheter bag thing work? I don't exactly what they are called but its a urine collection bag attached by a long tube to what is essentially a condom.

A conveen would be my suggestion. It's an external catheter so it gets put over the penis similar to a condom and has a bag that attaches to a leg to collect the urine. So nothing needs to be inserted and he wouldn't need to be lying in wet pads or getting up frequently.

Thank you. I have researched external catheters but he has a partially hidden penis, so I can't see it working. Also the idea of my parents dealing with the hassle of putting it on every night is a nightmare.

I realise that I sound negative, I'm sorry. I am just so lost and depressed about the whole thing.

Sending hugs .

You need some support lovely - please contact your local council and ask for a carers assessment- you are entitled to one , things like this will get flagged so that you can be given the appropriate support.

No further suggestions from me OP but just wanted to offer a handhold. I can just hear your stress in your words… It’s such a difficult position to be in I know. Sending love You are doing so well to support your parents and explore options for them.

Thank you all for your kind words. They are not in the UK and where they live there are no carers assessments or incontinence nurses. Just a GP that seems uninterested :(

I’m not medically trained but I do work for an aged care provider. Restricting fluids is not advised unless they are excessive as it can lead to dehydration and kidney issues.

Constipation can be associated with urinary incontinence so you might want to check that out. My mum is 86 and we have just had to adjust to the changing nature of our relationship as I now ask her about her poo on a regular basis lol.

An enlarged prostate can lead to urge incontinence so that could be a cause. There are medications for this but obviously his dr would need to assess if they are suitable. I’m not in the UK so I can’t advise on your system but it sounds like a thorough assessment and medication review from a geriatrician would be worthwhile.

Continence issues are a major reason that people move into residential care as they are very difficult to manage at home. So care homes are very used to dealing with this issue. All the best.

I'm sorry if I'm oversimplifying. Do you have adult diapers/will that work - can they get those on and off? My grandpa has seizures and they have helped him losing bladder control during seizures. Sending you warm thoughts & support.

I have researched external catheters but he has a partially hidden penis, so I can't see it working. It isn’t attached to the penis so should be able to work.

does your dad use a waterproof sheet and absorbent pads on the bed in addition to night time pads?

Do you have adult diapers yes, these are the ones he uses. He gets up to use the commode at least six times and changes the diaper himself once or twice during the night. The diapers are the best we've found but still leak a little.

does your dad use a waterproof sheet and absorbent pads yes, but they only get changed in the morning as my dad is alone during the night and is unable to change the bed. My mum needs to rest and cannot get up during the night to replace sheets and pads.

It isn’t attached to the penis isn't the convene wrapped around the penis, kind of condom like?

yes the conveen is like a condom in shape except its taped on (special tape) If you do a google search on "conveen" and then your parent's country of residence, you will find what is available. In the Uk you can get a free sample but that might vary from country to country. Is there any possibility of purchasing private continence advice if the GP cannot be pushed to do anything? Has your Dad not seen a specialist consultant or is that not possible either? Limiting liquid intake can actually make urinary incontinence worse as the urine becomes less dilute and can irritate the bladder.

Because it’s taped on, it’s not relying on the penis being “present” to hold it on.

that depends....it doesn't rely on any degree of erection but there does need to be some accessible length.