Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Elderly parents

What happens when elderly smokers and drinkers move into a carehome?

54 replies

Seainasive · 12/07/2022 18:31

My mother is getting more and more confused. We suspect alcohol related dementia. She drinks every day and going cold turkey would probably kill her. She’s also a very heavy smoker. How would this be managed if she has to move into a care home?

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 12/07/2022 18:35

I did a short stint in a care home. There was one smoking resident who was accommodated and he used to be taken outside every now and then. Can’t recall anyone drinking alcohol but suspect it wouldn’t mix with any medications being taken.

Frequency · 12/07/2022 18:35

It depends on the care home. The ones where you only have your own room and the other areas are communal there are smoking areas outside for residents and staff. Staff will usually assist her outside for a smoke but it will be when they have time and not when your mum wants to go out.

In the independent living/self contained flats ones residents are allowed to smoke in their own flats when carers are not present or in the designated smoking area outside.

Frequency · 12/07/2022 18:38

For alcohol the law is we cannot deprive them but we also cannot assist if we know they're on medication. So, she can have drink in her room and if she's capable of pouring herself one she can but if carers spot she's had a drink and she's due meds they'll have to ask the nurse if she can have her medication. This usually results in most medication being witheld. It would be worth seeing your GP and asking if they can try to prescribe her medications safe to use with alcohol where possible and ensure the staff know which meds can be taken with alcohol.

AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii · 12/07/2022 18:38

If she has been a heavy drinker you are correct she cannot just stop cold turkey but there are medications she can be given to replace the alcohol

longtompot · 12/07/2022 21:39

When my fil was in hospital he was given medication to stop the alcohol withdrawal. I suspect she'd be given that. Not sure on the smoking though

stratforduponavon · 12/07/2022 21:42

If she is in a care home it’s unlikely she will be allowed out on her own so would be unable to buy alcohol or fags.

MugginsOverEre · 12/07/2022 22:06

Smokers get taken outside for a cig but we often have to ask them to wait a little while until someone is available to go. Cigarettes are paid out of the resident's own funds (bought by the care home workers and reimbursed from their cash) or are supplied by the family. The care home cannot allow a resident to become really intoxicated so it's possible there would be limited alcohol (away from other residents) or more likely, medication will be prescribed by the GP as others have mentioned here. The (now ex) alcoholics at my place of work do not have access to alcohol and haven't in years. They don't require it and never ask at all.

DenholmElliot1 · 12/07/2022 22:08

Like a PP said they won't have access to alcohol and will have to be taken out for a fag. Usually one of the carers who is themselves a smoker will take her out, but probably not more than 4-5 times a day.

JennyMule · 12/07/2022 22:21

I had a client who was alcohol dependent and when she moved into a care home her GP "prescribed" a sherry before lunch and dinner, as going cold turkey would be problematic. The care home gradually reduced the size of the glass. Good luck with your mother

TooMinty · 12/07/2022 22:31

My GMIL was in a care home where she was allowed to both smoke and drink. However she was mentally fully capable and physically fit enough to get outside for a fag or pour a glass of wine herself. She had her own room and kept cigarettes/wine there. My FIL bought them for her and brought them in. She did have some health problems related to smoking but the general thinking was why put her through withdrawals/deprive her at the last stage of her life (in her late 80s when she died).

hedgehogger1 · 12/07/2022 22:40

My grandad wasn't alcohol dependent but in assisted living. Staff weren't allowed to pour drinks so we'd leave him one poured when we went to visit

Velvetbee · 12/07/2022 22:52

I worked in a dementia care home and each kitchen had a drinks cupboard. Residents could have a drink with meals or before bed.

CambsAlways · 12/07/2022 22:57

I know of a 96 year old lady most days I’d see her in front entrance in her wheelchair puffing away lots of people would comment as she was at front entrance where you would key in the code, I don’t know whether she had dementia though j never asked, I was very surprised she was at the main entrance considering most would be outside in the care homes lovely garden! Maybe she asked to be taken there

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 12/07/2022 23:07

This is such a depressing post.

It should be enshrined in law that when you go into a care home you can smoke and drink and have as many takeaways as you like.

It is literally God's waiting room, they are waiting to die, why the fuck can't they do as they please.

It is terrifying how the young sanction the removal of liberty of the old. It is as if they have nor foresight.

pimlicoanna · 12/07/2022 23:15

Plenty of care homes have bars I'm pleased to report!

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 12/07/2022 23:28

Dad was a smoker in a wheelchair; he’d have other smoking care staff line up to take him out for a 5 minute break! Other residents would meet up in the garden, or in the staff smoking area, one was a lovely gentleman with a pipe.

Dad only was forced to give up in his last week of life after being a resident for 6 years, and that was because he was in a coma!

The first floor that Dad was on, there was a real, licenced bar, which was used for resident meetings, evening entertainment, discussions (and most of our social service meetings as it was quiet until the evening). Dad never drank, but there were great tales of brilliant singalong evenings with a couple of pints to get groups of residents to mingle from other floors.

Dad was allowed a £25 ‘spends’ budget from his calculated ‘earnings’ that paid for his care, so he did have to reduce the amount he smoked (from 40+ to 4-5 a day).

When he died a few weeks ago, one of the saddest days was saying goodbye to the staff who’d been with him for years (he was the longest resident), everyone knew him from the smoking area, so many staff we’d never met gave us so many tales of his words of wisdom.

leotardrock · 12/07/2022 23:54

God this makes me think I'll just smoke & drink myself to death before I get there! And I've given up smoking!

I know the local hospice has a drinks cabinet, I don't know why a care home is any different really!

womaninatightspot · 12/07/2022 23:59

My uncle's father in law was in a nice care home. They had a cocktail hour every day. He wasn't really well enough to take advantage of it but some of the residents apparently had a very jolly time of it according to his wife.

thenightsky · 13/07/2022 00:05

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 12/07/2022 23:07

This is such a depressing post.

It should be enshrined in law that when you go into a care home you can smoke and drink and have as many takeaways as you like.

It is literally God's waiting room, they are waiting to die, why the fuck can't they do as they please.

It is terrifying how the young sanction the removal of liberty of the old. It is as if they have nor foresight.

Absolutely this!!

LemonSwan · 13/07/2022 00:09

They can drink, they can smoke.

Quite a few alcoholics in the homes I have worked in.

Have to be honest though the smoking is not usually a problem. Probably known two people in the 3 years I have spent in care homes. They don’t tend to last long enough to get in to one. And yes lots of care workers smoke so PP is right in saying they are usually very popular residents and there is a que of people hoping to get an extra break and ciggie in.

Chazzagirl2 · 13/07/2022 00:11

thenightsky · 13/07/2022 00:05

Absolutely this!!

Completely agree.

saraclara · 13/07/2022 00:23

It depends on the care home. My mum smokes and when she was in a care home, she pretty much lived in the garden all year round (they wrapped her up well) so she could chain smoke. She also lived on whisky, but they limited it after a while as she'd be drunk in charge of her electric wheelchair and mow other residents down. Yes, really.

Now she's in an extra care flat with carers in and out, and lives in a haze of fag smoke. She can't reach her whisky cupboard, so can only have it when a carer's in to pour her one. Fortunately.

Frequency · 13/07/2022 02:01

It should be enshrined in law that when you go into a care home you can smoke and drink and have as many takeaways as you like.

It is enshrined in law. Carers and nurses cannot stop you drinking or smoking or buying fags or alcohol unless there is a deprivation of liberty order in place and they are next to impossible to get.

When I was in care we had an alcoholic who was incapable of pouring himself a drink but would ask other residents to open his whisky for him or go to the shop to buy his whisky. Once he had it we could not take it off him and taking the bottle out if his room would be theft.

We also had a lady with dementia who almost burned her flat down with discarded cigarettes twice. Social services tried to get a DOL to stop her smoking but were turned down by the courts. Again, we couldn't take her cigarettes off her as it would be theft so there was nothing we could do to stop her smoking in her flat. It was deemed as her home as it was self contained. Her home. Her rules.

Carers would try to take her out as often as possible to discourage/reduce unsupervised smoking but nipping out for a fag between jobs takes five minutes. Getting Betty dressed and in her wheelchair to accompany you does not.

Nat6999 · 13/07/2022 02:17

There is a care home near my mum's which is next to a working men's club & 2 minutes from a Wetherspoons, the residents used to nip to the club or Wetherspoons & once a week the staff took all the mobile residents to Wetherspoons for a meal. If someone is in a care home then it is their home & they should have the same rights as they would in their own home to drink & smoke if they want, they are paying by having their pensions & savings taken from them

mackthepony · 13/07/2022 02:18

Difficult because it's an obvious conflict of interests

Swipe left for the next trending thread