Hello, you've all been very kind to me before under another username a few years ago. I now have a different kind of problem, which I will try and explain.
DM lives miles away from us - and my siblings. Her choice after DF died. She has a house with a granny flat, but she is in the main bit of the house.
Physically she is fine but she is slowly developing dementia. During lockdown, a couple (A and B) moved into the granny flat as initially a temporary measure. They were already carers for someone else, but it gave her some company and a household, and gradually they are doing more and more for her - and being paid for it.
DM does not want to know this. She thinks they are her friends (even if she can only irregularly remember their names). She was told that they were being paid once, and it nearly broke her; she has now forgotten this and is much happier. Everything is ticking along fine except...
A&B want to go on holiday over the summer. How do we do this? In DM's mind, they are not carers so we cannot get respite carers?
We might all tag team the holiday between us, but that's only kicking the problem down the line, as A&B are not going to stay forever (for various perfectly good reasons that we knew about).
Under any normal circumstances we'd be waiting for a fall or something to suggest she goes into sheltered accommodation. She is as tough as an ox, this is not going to happen. So what's the best way to approach this?