Not parents but about elderly people, is this abuse?

[Twospaniels]

My daughter recently moved into a semi detached house. The neighbours adjoining them are an elderly couple maybe around 70 yrs old. The woman came to introduce herself and said her husband hadn’t come with her as he is “losing his marbles”.
my daughter recently changed her job and is at home more in The daytime now and often hears the woman shouting at her husband. It sounds quite aggressive and although she can’t hear every word, she has heard the woman shouting about him having messed the bed and made work for her cleaning up, also she has shouted at him that he is “thick” and “lazy”.
my daughter is finding this very upsetting.
should she do anything or report it? If so, who to?

She can report this to her local adult social services safeguarding team, poor man.

Yes it is abuse. And yes she should report to local adult safeguarding. Poor man.

I appreciate people struggle with this - if it’s with adults people ( all of us I think) can be reluctant to see this for what it is - abuse. …. If it were a child we wouldn’t hesitate to contact someone so we should in this case too.

Thank you both. I’ll find a contact for the safeguarding and then report.

It will be on your local social services website

You can also get advice from ElderAbuse UK

Sounds like she needs support though - can SS help?

They both need help. Looking after someone with dementia is a full time job for more than one person. She’s presumably untrained, and if he is doubly incontinent, no wonder she is at the end of her tether.

I agree that she may be finding it hard to look after him if he is doubly incontinent and confused but that doesn't mean she can shout at him or belittle him, all ndn has to do is ask for a care needs assessment and a carers assessment, denying him that is abuse.

Of course it doesn’t mean she’s entitled to shout at him or belittle him, and if she’s denying him care, then that’s deliberate abuse. But then how many people without elderly parents know what care is available and how to access it? And if you’ve moved from a situation where you think you are coping to one where you are not, you won’t have time or energy to find out. She maybe needs help to access the care that would allow her to become a supportive partner again.

I feel the same way. Having had a mum with dementia and a dad who had a stroke it's very, very hard on the carers. This woman needs help, not condemnation