My son and Father's Day

[rachelj3]

My 7 year old son has always been close to my dad.
My dad (it pains me to even call him that) did something wicked to me a couple of years ago, all because of jealously and spite. He made a false allegation about me but, thankfully, the relevant authorities quickly realised it was malicious and treated it as such,
At the time I made it clear I want nothing more to do with him but would allow my son to continue seeing him and that I'd be polite/civil in front of me son as he's too young to understand or know what happened.
My son's own dad isn't around and his grandad is the one who get's a Father's Day card off him. My son recently asked me why I didn't get his grandad anything for father's day last year? He idolises his grandad and won't hear a word said against him so I have to bite my tongue.
My dad get's no Father's Day acknowledgement for my sibling either as they disowned him several years ago (similar reasons).
Since making the wicked allegations about me my dad has contiuned to gaslight, claims I and the authorities got the wrong end of the stick and he was only "trying to help me". He knows this is a lie. He did it out of jealousy.
Also, he has a milestone birthday coming up. I have no interest in it but son keeps talking about it.
Anyone in similar situations?

Hi OP, I suspect this is more one for the Relationships board - you can report your post and ask MN to move it there for you.
There's a series of threads called "But We Took You To Stately Homes" for mutual support for people with difficult families.

He's not your sons dad so no need for a card IMO.

I wouldn't be facilitating the relationship either, your son will understand when he's older.

I also agree about not facilitating a relationship.
How can you trust your father not to tell lies about you to your son? You know already your father is prepared to cause trouble out of jealousy. I personally would not allow unsupervised contact between your father and son because of this, plus would have extremely limited supervised contact or no contact. Your priority is protecting your son.
A seven year old can be told your dad has been deliberately very mean to you and your sibling in the past, that he has told deliberate unkind lies. Be very honest about how much it hurt you. Maybe get your sibling to talk to your son too.
Find other healthier male role models for your son - and keep him busy. How about a local sports club? Get fun play dates in the calendar at times he might have seen your dad.