91 year old Mum - possible dementia

[GettinTrimmer]

My DM is in hospital with severe anxiety and depression. The GP's first reaction was it could be dementia and grief reaction - on Mother's Day she was suicidal. My DF passed away July 2021 and since then she has been going downhill with low mood. We paid privately to have a brain scan - and found out her frontal lobes are not looking normal suggesting dementia.

Just wondering if anyone else found out a parent has dementia this way? We're waiting for an appointment with the Consultant. It's been a difficult time.

MRI scans often don't correlate well with the clinical picture for dementia, that's why getting a scan without someone to interpret it is often a bad idea. Hope the news is better from the consultant.

What @passport123 says. My MRI suggests dementia. Scored 100% on the short test, but still referred me to memory clinic on basis of scan. Memory clinic were adamant that I didn’t have dementia and performance was above normal on most tests.

on the other hand, she’s done well to reach 91. Big changes can trigger big apparent difficulties, what presents as a sudden decline in faculties

If it was a very long and happy marriage. It's unfortunately not surprising that she's going downhill. Particularly at 91.

My dad's dementia only became properly apparent after my mum died, although looking back the signs were there. It's often the case that a partner can be compensating and helping so that the person's dementia symptoms aren't so noticeable. Dementia also often co-exists with depression and anxiety - not surprising when you think about it. My dad had these too because he could tell something was wrong but not work out what or why, which in itself is depressing. He forgot my mum had died after a while too and then asked where she was.

What has your GP said about the stages of diagnosis? For my dad it went from a memory test at the surgery, then more memory tests at a local dementia centre and then an MRI to confirm. The MRI was explained to us (well, me) by a consultant. Has the private scan taken you outside all this? It isn't a nice journey but the official NHS diagnosis at least opens the door to the help that is available. How is your mum doing with day to day living?

Hi thanks for replies.

Toddlerteaplease they were married 68 years, I am very sad to see her this way, no interesting in anything at all; she used to run coffee mornings for lonely people and love gardening.

MereDintofPandiculation yes she's done well to reach 91. She is in hospital with severe depression and anxiety. Seismic changes for her, the loss of DF and also moved into a warden controlled flat.

GooseberryJam what you say is so familiar. The GP referred us to Older Person's Mental Health, and from there to hospital as she is very anxious and depressed. I suppose we've jumped to a private scan, the consultant was happy for us to go for it. She seems to still have good mental faculties. I just don't understand.

Hope everyone has a good Saturday.