How do people fit everything in?!

[Oligodoodle]

Firstly to say I realise many people cope with much, much more than this.
My mum passed away recently and my disabled father moved quite a distance to a care home near me and my family.
I work 3 days a week and the other 2 I have my pre-school DD. On the days I work, I collect my elder DD from school (there’s no after school club) and make up my work hours in the evenings once the kids are asleep.
My father has many medical appointments for various conditions and I need to attend these with him as his cognition isn’t great and he forgets what has been said afterwards. The home doesn’t have staff available to go and he can’t manage at the hospital alone. There’s no one else that can go with him.
Work won’t give me time off (unpaid) for this.
He also needs me to visit a lot as he’s depressed following the loss of his wife and the upheaval. No one else visits him other than me because they are elderly themselves and live away. I’ve no siblings.
I feel like I can’t fit all this in. How do others manage?

it’s really really tough.
Have you registered with his GP as his carer, by the way? Got POA?
Some suggestions/things I did with my mum:
Reject medical appointments on your working days; rearrange them to suit you. Make sure the home know when you can and can’t take him to appointments and give them the job of rearranging if they will do it (may be a struggle!)
Consider him paying one of the carers at the home privately to accompany him to appointments.
Your family are more important than him (Sorry), don’t sacrifice them or your own wellbeing to him. He probably really wouldn’t want that. Have a fixed timetable for visiting him - can you take little DD to visit him at the home?

Thank you for replying. I knew someone would have useful tips based on experience!
I do have POA arranged. Didn’t know I could be registered as his carer if he’s in a home. Will do so. What advantages would that have?
Good suggestion re paying home staff. Hadn’t thought of that as an option.
Yes, I know you’re right about boundaries etc. He’s been through a lot and moved across the country for me, he’s also lovely and I like having him close to be able to help him. I’d happily give up my job, but realise that’s not a strong idea as (hopefully) he’ll be around many years to come and it wouldn’t be sustainable for our family long term.

And if his funds allow, maybe pay for a companion driving service visitor to take him for a spin once a fortnight?
You could also pay a student to go and visit him? Quite often young people who want to work in medicine or nursing have to put down an interest in social care projects on their applications. Could be a win-win.