Male carers and female residents

[Foody8410]

Hi everyone

What are the rules/guidance around male carers doing intimate care for female residents?
My 94 year old aunt has moved from a residential care home that she loved (female carers, sat in the lounge with her friends etc) to a nursing home.
She is now in a bedroom and never leaves it. She moves between the bed and a chair with the help of a hoist. Cannot walk etc.

She is calling us very distressed because it's mostly men doing her care, particularly toileting /changing incontinence pads and giving her a bath every day. It's usually two men but sometimes has been one aswell which I don't think is legal!
She is getting distressed because she has always been a spinster, never married, never had any relationship with a man so this is very uncomfortable for her and she feels extremely vulnerable. Although they are perfectly nice.
She has begged us not to say anything to the home because they will take it out on her?? This is a council funded home

In my mum's home male carers do not do that kind of personal care. I think that's very much the norm.

She needs to move to another home. You need to have a meeting with her care manager and have it put in her care plan that she only consents to female carers. This is awful that they are doing this to her without her consent.

Did she really need to be moved?

Why is she not being taken into the communal areas ? She should have either a big armchair with wheels that she can be hoisted into and moved around the home in or a wheelchair if it's for small amounts of time. Also it should be stated in her care plan that she does not want males doing her personal care, can you speak to the manager ?

In the home I work in male carers do all the same personal care tasks as the female carers. However residents can and do request female or male only carers for personal care and this is written in their care plan and adhered to. Unless this preference is voiced, then in my experience, personal care will be given by both male and female carers.

I’ve worked in elderly care. 90% of the women didn’t want male carers but there often wasn’t the staff to facilitate this.

It sucks, but it’s how it is.

At night it would often be just two men on duty. Then there really was no choice.

I’d feel the same as your aunt. Could she go into a private home with a higher staff to patient ratio?

We try our best to have a mixture of Male and female nurses and carers each shift but sometimes staff shortages or sickness mean only males on duty. Is it a female residents only carehome. If she has capacity she can request females only or her represtative can on her behalf but speak to the manager. A good home and staff wont want her to feel uncomfortable or put themselves at risk of accusations either. I would also request that she mixes with the other residents in the communal areas.

It's very common for elderly people to say 'don't make a fuss or I will get in trouble'. A good home wants to know what their concerns are, a bad home is a safeguarding risk anyway and she shouldn't be there. It doesn't sound as if it is a bad home as all the carers have been nice and professional but only you and she will be able to judge.

Generally females are more common than males in care so it's important the home know she has a preference - a lot of men prefer male carers so it goes both ways. However there is a big shortage in recruitment, plus every home will be experiencing problems covering shifts due to Covid so there will be days when she doesn't have any choice.

So please do tell the home manager of her concerns and distress - they genuinely want to know and help! And if they don't then you know she shouldn't be there.

it's not illegal for any sole carer, male or female, to change incontinence pads. She should have a moving and handling, hygiene, continence, mobility (all care needs really) careplan and the staff should be trained in using the hoists, baths, wheelchairs etc. The manager should be happy to sit with her and yourself or someone she trusts to go through her careplan. There is no reason she should be confined to her room, she needs an assessment for a wheelchair and a recliner chair which may be a bit of an obstacle if funding is pretty dire there but the residents should be able to mix in the communal areas. If she is unhappy there or you don't think the care is adequate speak to the manager and social services to see if she would be better somewhere else. Do you know why she was moved to that particular home, did anyone get the chance to visit it before she moved. Even private homes are short staffed and cannot guarantee same sex carers.

Hi op just like others have suggested to speak to the manager. I’m a carer and we have few residents who prefers female carers and we do try our best to accommodate their requests

In DM’s care home there are normally a couple of carers to a floor of approx 15 residents and it’s a mix of male and female. Regardless of personal wishes it comes down to who’s on duty and unfortunately there is absolutely nothing we can do about it as moving her would cost thousands that we don’t have.

I will get my mum to ring them and request female only for intimate care to be put in her care plan.

She was in the residential home for 5 years, she paid for it herself. All of her money has gone now.
She had to go into hospital with gastritis, her residential home refused to have her back because they couldn't care for her anymore. They didn't have hoists in the bedrooms for example. Because the council now have to pay they sent her out of hospital into this nursing home. It's essentially God's waiting room.
Most people there are bed bound. My mum says it's like a prison. The actual care she is recieving is good, good food, they keep her clean etc but she's completely lost the social side as never see the other residents and then there is this issue of male carers. She says they are nearly all male

Poor lady. It's good to do anything you can for her. Can you organise a local befriender/visitor volunteer ?

I am sure the manager will do all they can, there may be occasions when a female member of staff is not available so she may have to wait if she needs the loo or a change of position, but where posssible a female carer will help her. bedbound residents can still join other residents and if she is able to sit safely in a chair or wheelchair then theres no reason she cant use the communal areas and join in with the activities. Are there family and friends who could visit or take her out for the day. If its a nursing home there will always be a registered nurse on duty who could be Male and there are certain things only they can do which carers are not able to do for her. It sounds like she was moved because the previous home could no longer meet her needs, they would have had hoists.

We've spoken to them today. They've explained it's because they have hardly any staff and have to use agency staff and most of the people who are sent are male? They've put it on her care plan but they can't promise it will be female. They also mentioned something about discrimination?
There are no activities or anything there. It's like a hospital really, everyone has their own room & most are dying.
She cannot sit or be taken out anywhere as her body is fixed in a position. She unfortunately has no family closer than ourselves.

There is a huge staffing crisis in carehomes, they can request female carers though the agency but if there are none available then there is not much they can do. Carehomes are for residents who are nearing the end of their life. It will be very different to a privately run resisential home where residents may be more independent. You could speak to her local authority or whoever arranged her move and ask if there is somewhere else she could move to, there could be a dual residential/nursing care home that accepts social funded residents.

Thing is you can request a move but they probably have exactly the same staffing crisis and dependency on agency staff as the current care home.

If there are no carers then a male carer is better than no carer.

IME there are some excellent male carers and nurses working in nursing homes, often they seem much kinder and respectful than some of the nasty bitchy women I have had to work with. Many from overseas were married to nurses or were registered nurses in their home country.

as a male career i advise the person who is in charge of this lady's personal care to make an appointment to speak to the manager of the home to implement the residents personal choice of no male carers, it is her choice as part of her care plan to have this done by law if she wishes, its not sexual discrimination on her part is just her choice of care that she doesn't want this to happen and every member of care staff is responsible to ensure this doesn't happen to her once it is implemented.