MIL being manipulative

[Whenigrowupiwanttobea]

Need advice please. MIL playing my partner (her son) off against his sister (her daughter). She tells us that she doesn't see her daughter enough and tells her daughter that she doedn't see my DP enough. He has done so much for her over the last 5 years. He spends hours with her every week. My SIL sees her every day. They offer to take her out and she refuses then moans about being stuck in the house all day! She has now started telling her neighbours that she is all alone and sees nobody! The neighbours bought her a birthday cake and presents and cards because they felt sorry for her. She conveniantly forgot spending time with us and being spoiled rotten for her birthday! It is so manipulative but my DP won't call her out on it instead gets annoyed and takes it out on me! What can I do?

Someone's not very good at comprehension are they? How is OP jealous of her MIL?

OP's DP spends hours with MIL. She tells SIL he never goes near her.

SIL spends hours with MIL. She tells OP & DP she never sees SIL.

Trying to cause arguments between the siblings.

MIL then tells neighbours neither of her children visit or care about her so they bring her cards & cakes. This is manipulative as it's patently untrue. She's doing it for sympathy & attention from neighbours.

This isn't about DP having a relationship with his mother or how long he sees her for, let alone wanting a 'prize' for it.

It would be an idea to go to the neighbours to say thank you for keeping an eye out for her and give them your DH's number. Drop in that he or his sister are around every day but if they think there is anything more urgent, or if she is causing difficulties (it's not unknown for people to become over reliant on neighbours) then to give him a call. Basically show that she isn't alone and to take what she says with a pinch of salt but also it is useful if the neighbours can give a call if necessary.

@iklboo thankyou!
@Binglebong thanks

Could your DH and SiL talk to the neighbours and mention they are concerned about their mother as she seems to forget lots of things, including their visits. Offer their phone numbers to the neighbours to contact them if there are any problems or need to contact them between their visits?