Should I call the police?

[Triotriotrio]

I know I probably should but it's a long story.

My aunt is 84 and has dementia she lived alone in a house owned by family. At the start of COVID an old friend of hers turned up and said he didn't want her living alone and moved in with her. I don't know this person but he owns a shop she used to use. To be honest though, as I live an hour away it was a relief that he was there to keep an eye on her. My aunt loves him. He was living as her lodger but not paying rent or anything. My aunt always said they paid half the food etc but I have no way of knowing the truth. He has had her bank card for years (as he owed her £10k apparently and was paying it back into the bank each week-or so she said).

He moved out over Christmas but has been going to see her and take her food etc. Anyway this made her extremely depressed culminating in an overdose in January, when finally, after 2 years of me fighting for social services support, they decided she didn't have capacity and have put her in 24 care.

Whilst she was in hospital the LPA for finances finally came through and I've checked her bank account. Over £2k was withdrawn in cash in December alone and another £250 whilst she has been in hospital. Ex lodger said that he had to pay some bills for her which he has done but as far as I can tell they equate to less than £500. No sign of the other cash. I cancelled the card and moved the money to an ISA.

Today I found a bank statement for another account which had £130 withdrawn from it on 31st January, the last lot of cash withdrawn from the other account was £100 on 25th January. She was in hospital from 11th January. He has never told me he had this card or even that it existed.

Even more suspiciously, in Oct there was a 1p transaction from this card to the ex lodgers shop. Almost like checking the card was valid.

I don't know what to do. This man goes to see her all the time and my aunt loves him, if I go to the police then that will end. Also the ex lodger clearly believes that she owns the house herself, which I'm wondering might be a motive for this.

He no longer has access to anything but I should call the police shouldn't I?

I think you should tell her social worker (she must have one if she's had a care placement) that you have a safeguarding concern first rather than going straight to police and I do not think you should say anything to him. Let them deal with it.

The police will not do anything in my experience of this stuff. She will not be a reliable witness and he only has to say she gave him permission and he was paying bills for her and there will be no way to prove otherwise so they will not take action. That's the way it always goes in these cases.

And she will never get the money back

You have to think what is in her best interests and that might in fact be to have this guy continue to visit her if she values that. As long as he has no further access to her money then she is safe in the care home now so he cannot harm her. I would probably say nothing, let social care deal with it and let him carry on visiting unless you have any other concerns about him apart from financial.

@CovoidOfAllHumanity

You have to think what is in her best interests and that might in fact be to have this guy continue to visit her if she values that. As long as he has no further access to her money then she is safe in the care home now so he cannot harm her. I would probably say nothing, let social care deal with it and let him carry on visiting unless you have any other concerns about him apart from financial.

This was my thinking to be honest. I don't think I stand a chance of getting the money back to be fair, nor do I particularly want it back. Its not my money, it's hers, I won't inherit it or anything. The main reason that I'm thinking I should go to the police is because he could do this to someone else.

I've already told Social Services my concerns and they haven't logged it as a safeguarding yet, but with this new information I thi k they might.

I'm off to the bank this morning to see if there's any money left in the account

Please go to the police, as you say to protect other people.
Capacity isn’t necessarily a hard and fast thing, a person with dementia can have capacity for some things and not others, but to state that a person has no capacity at all is actually a legally defined thing which has to be defined by a psychiatrist.
I’ve been there with both my parents and the one thing that I always feared was someone taking advantage of my dad (he survived mum by a lot of years). It happened once, in a relatively minor way, and I dealt with it, but it left a terrible feeling

Not a legal opinion. You have financial authority part of the duty is to preserve the money.
So you need to seek repayment of any loans made by your aunt.
If money is stolen you have a duty to try recover the money.
I dont think you have the option not to report the use of the bank card and January's withdrawls to the police. The police may not bring a prosecution but should investigate.

Lodger still owes £10k and owns a shop which is a cash generating asset.
Is there proof of the loan and repayment terms?
He would have no need to have her card to lodge money into her account. It would be much easier to set up a bank transfer or just fill in a lodgement slip in-branch. Both of these options have the advantage of being proof of repayment, the card lodgements is "her" not him banking cash.

"Someone" has removed £2k in December £250 in January from one account using the card and has accessed another bank account too.

Unless your aunt is mega rich £2k is not a small amount. The usual pattern would be to start siphoning off small amounts an account.

If the lodger had removed £250 each month thats £3k a year

How long has the Lodger had the card?

I suspected you will need to go to the bank and get historic statements to check what has been going on with her accounts.
You need to find all her accounts.
Ask the bank to run a check on her name date of birth and (all prior) addresses. Check the opening dates of the accounts to see if she changed banks.
As she may have held a business account in a separate bank too you may need to ask them to do a records search.

Check lodgement for source of funds, her bank should have the details of the sender bank and account. If an amount is being repaid some cash lodgements will have a pattern (amount day of week etc)

Check how much and where cash was withdrawn from some will have a pattern too.

Go to the bank and ask them to check the locations of the Jan withdrawals.
The withdrawals would have had visual recordings from in-branch transactions or bank machines. This may provide proof as to who obtained the money.

NB banks normally only store video for very short periods of time.
Ask them what the process is to retain the visual records do they need a court order, should you put in a GDPR request on her behalf or is an allegation of elder abuse fraud sufficient for them to hold what is available. You may need to start a civil process against the bank just to ensure that the evidence is held.

Your duty would be to get as much money back as possible

I also would not be discussing your suspicion with the Lodger until such time as you have gathered and documented what you believe happened.

I wouldn’t go to the police if it was me. You have cut him off at source as it were and he can take no more money. He will just say she told him to, gave it to him, etc so to make an issue of it would sour the relationship potentially that your relation holds dear.

Please do go to the Police. You sound like a loving, caring person, with nothing but your aunt's best interests at heart. You've done pretty much what you can in cutting him off from your aunt's accounts but I believe this does need to be reported. If for no other reason than that it may stop him doing this to someone else.

There was recently a rather unhappy legal case of a somewhat similar situation, where a judge in the Court of Protection had to determine if an older lady had capacity to make financial and other decisions, particularly pertaining to her relationship with a younger male "friend". The court transcript is here, in case it is of interest or help: www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWCOP/2021/54.html

Fortunately it doesn't sound like things went this far with your aunt. But I would urge you to go to the Police. I also echo the advice of others who have said not to confront the lodger yourself; I'm not sure that would be wise, or even safe.

Age UK might also be able to help with advice, or what to do about your concerns - www.ageuk.org.uk/.

Very best wishes to you and your aunt. She is lucky to have you in her corner. x

I agree with the other posters, and the O.P, that as aunt is now in a safe place, and as her cash is now secure, the man can do her no harm and is doing her good which nobody could replicate, at any price.

His motives and actions have been not 100% good or bad.

If you assume this is aunt's final stage of life, why would anyone take away whatever makes her happy?

Whatever he has done for her, and all the time he has invested in her, and still is, would be something you couldn't have paid an actor to imitate even for £10,000. (Which she doesn't want and can't use.) With mixed motives, perhaps, he has earned it.

Let's hope he doesn't soon discover she doesn't own the house, in case he stops the visits and breaks her heart before she dies.

Finding social services or police questioning him would certainly achieve the stop to his visits which as her neice says, would probably kill her.

I would call the police and adult safeguarding. He cannot access her money but still visits, does she have valuables and paperwork that needs to be removed.

@BlanketsBanned

I would call the police and adult safeguarding. He cannot access her money but still visits, does she have valuables and paperwork that needs to be removed.

Well, I knew a rich woman who was in a similar situation but had not a soul in the world. If she were on her deathbed still with a diamond ring on her finger, what good is it to her? "Valuables and paperwork" do seem important to next of kin, if any, but this niece is a lovely person who neither expects nor wants anything.

Up to a year or two ago, such stuff would matter to aunt. But now, being visited by her beloved 'boyfriend' is what still gives joy to her last time on earth. If she had full control of her brain or not, is it likely she would thank you for getting rid of him, because you fear he might take 'valuables' which are worthless to her?

When people are in extreme situations, what is valuable becomes worthless and what is worthless become beyond all value. Any of us would agree it's a fair exchange of a sackfull of diamonds for a pint of water and a camel ride out of the desert, to save your life.

The OP's aunt loves this man, and he troubles to visit twice a week and gives her remaining days delight, which her dutiful neice cannot. She even says the aunt is becoming pretty unwelcoming on her own once weekly visits.

Thank goodness he still thinks she has property. He might still visit, regardless, and he very possibly does still have a certain amount of goodwill to her. But just in case he stops, let's hope he doesn't find out he is mistaken about the house. (Or, maybe he already does know, and really did always hold affection for her, despite being a bit careless with her money at times..... Even then, her neice says she thinks the aunt would have agreed with full consent to lend or give her boyfriend/lodger some of her surplus cash, if she was of sound mind just as much as if she was not)

Sorry, I don't know why I'm arguing the point, unless it's because of disabled people and old people often having decisions made for them, which amount to treating them all the same, 'to protect them' but thereby removing their equality and rights to be human.

I work in this area (older peoples mental health) and I can tell you it is never black and white.
When people are vulnerable but have capacity 99% of them will want to carry on seeing the abusive person (spouse, child, 'friend' from down the pub) and not have action taken against them because the relationship might be abusive but it means something to them. It gives them something they are not getting elsewhere.

When a person no longer has capacity then other people usually want to take the 'safest' or the morally correct decision but that might not actually be what is in the persons best interests when you consider the positive aspects of the relationship from their POV.

I have never known the police to take any action nor the victim to ever get any money back sadly so it's not going to end up with any meaningful outcome from that route just because there is rarely any ability to prove that it wasn't given voluntarily. As long as steps have been taken to stop further abuse it can still be the right thing from the vulnerable persons POV for them to keep seeing the abusive person if they are getting something positive from the relationship.

Raise a safeguarding alert with social services citing financial abuse.