Wont go out alone

[Socksorter]

Has anyones mother (lives alone) decided that shes unable to go out alone now that lockdown and restrictions have eased?
I think she has got used to us shopping for her and taking her out and now refuses to go to her local shops without someone taking her. She has a trolley walker and the shops are about 100metres away.
2 of us take her supermarket shopping and shes quite able to push the trolley round, it helps her walk, but she refuses to be independent. She wouldnt go for walks to keep mobile in lockdown and has lost some strength but still wont try to get some mobility back by doing a bit of gentle walking. We don't mind helping her but what if we couldn't get there or were on holiday?? She doesnt seem to be bothered about depending on us but the resentment is setting in that she has no interest in helping herself, in her words, “why do i need to walk to the shop when you can take me!!” Its wearing a bit thin now dashing over with milk or bread when shes already been taken shopping that week! Shes 81 and always been really active.
Every phone call is a list of shops she needs to go and items she needs to buy, mostly i think its just something to do
Are we being awful?? Is she being selfish?!

It does sound as if she is finding that dependency very comfortable. You're allowed to be a bit brisk. ' No i can't make it for a couple of days Mum. Nect time we must get you some longlife milk for the cupboard. In the mealtime you'll have to pop over yourself'.

I've recently signed up to a local milk delivery and they are delighted to include all kinds of stuff with the order - bread, dairy, fruit, juice, you name it. Not the cheapest but she might like that?

You’re not being awful. She is being selfish. Pp suggestion is good.

Thanks, the deliveries are a good idea too!
She is quite demanding and this has been the way she always is but i want her to be independent for her own self worth too aside from the practical. Going to have to try the “tough love” approach i think

It's probably a natural drop in confidence which has been accelerated by the whole covid situation. My Nanna lost her independence in 2020 and never found it again

Nobody’s to blame. You’re not being awful. It’s normal to be focused on yourself when basic living has become a challenge. I’d stop doing the emergency bread and milk runs!

Good idea to get her to order online.

I am elderly and my mobility took a massive hit during Covid and I have totally lost confidence in going out on my own after a couple of near falls.

DH is still alive and has had to become my carer, which I hate, but my health is such that we have no other option. Maybe it's the same for your mum.

Is it the shopping or is it that she wants the company and the shopping is an excuse to get that?

MIL totally refused to do the exercises the fall team left her with and ended up in residential care as a result of the frequent falls. Mum kept active in the garden and could still get up from the floor at 88. 81 is young to be losing mobility, she could be having many good years ahead of her. Walking to the shops has advantages greater than the shopping.