Mum bored in hospital

[mrslimpet]

Looking for some advice and maybe even some positive stories.

My poor mum (80) was admitted to hospital with pneumonia on 27th Dec. It was touch and go and when she developed sepsis we were called in one night as the doctor didn't think she would last the night. She did pull through and long story short she has been in a community hospital for 3 weeks recovering.

Before this she was physically frail but very active mind and would read the daily paper cover to cover, do puzzles and read 'Hello' also very up to date with current affairs etc.

She is now suffering from post infection delerium and sometimes says some very random things. She is very very immobile. She is apparently medically fit for discharge but we are waiting for a care package to be put in place so that dad (82 but quite fit) doesn't have to cope on his own.

Although we can now visit, Mum is absolutely bored to death. Can't read as no concentration, there is no TV on the ward, she has a little radio.

Is there anything else anyone can think of that I could take in for her because she seems so very down and I don't want her to give up. She's not eating or drinking much but doesn't fancy anything.Yesterday when I went she just said ' I'm done '

Also any advice or positive stories of parents bouncing back from this would be appreciated. Thank you if you got this far.

Could she use a device to listen to audible books , pod casts etc? There may be less concentration needed. What about something like a jigsaw on a special board ? Sorry, I realise I am clutching at straws

When you visit can you take her to the coffee shop or to a garden area in the hospital? Ours has an art gallery too.

We have something similar with MIL who , although at home, has lost all ability to concentrate, read, do crosswords etc.
Her mind is very busy flitting from topic to topic and she has no peace. Conversations are hard and meander with missed words and loss of threads.
She’s never been especially active but she’s verging on mania at times as she finds thoughts very instructive if she’s not physically busy.
Sorry, no words of wisdom, but I feel for you.

Invasive, not instructive thoughts!

Thank you, I had wondered about audio books, I will look into it.
No coffee shop unfortunately.
Sorry you have similar with your Mil, it's so hard at times isn't it.

Sorry about your mum, I hope she'll be on the mend soon.

When my mum was in hospital I got her a little device with earphones as the previous poster has suggested. She had a CD Walkman (remember them?!) as well, as she enjoyed listening to her favourite music. Audible and Spotify have a good and very wide-ranging selection of audiobooks.

Would she be able to cope with some simpler puzzles (like a wordsearch book) until she's back up to speed? My mum also liked looking through gardening magazines - the pictures in them are generally good to look at even if focussing on the written articles is a bit of a challenge.

My mum wasn't in the same situation, but I was unfortunate enough to have to spend several months in hospital not all that long ago (but pre- (and also right at the beginning of) Covid). I shared the various wards with lots of different other patients, almost all much older than me, and quite a number with urinary tract or other nasty infections. Quite often, they would be confused, rambling, distressed and even appearing at death's door. The transformation in almost all of them was quite remarkable when the infection had cleared up. I was surprised at how much the infections had affected some of them in ways I hadn't thought was possible before (like the confusion and mental state of people with UTIs; I thought something like that was limited to having it hurt when you peed. But some of the ladies were in an absolutely desperate state, totally unlike themselves once they were getting better).

My mum used to bring in Scrabble or a card game from home to play when she visited and I quite enjoyed that.

Don't give up hope. A lot of the medication can have some very odd side-effects, but it's a step along the path to recovery. Waiting for the care package must be so frustrating but, hopefully, you'll be there soon.

Sending you very best wishes . x

Would a device where people could video call, watch something light be or any use?

I things are very different with Covid etc. but our local hospital had a support service which used to pop in with dogs/cats etc.

I used to bring my gran very random things - little craft sets, jigsaws, rubix cube, deck of cards, we got her to record her recipes on a tape. She was in hospital a long time. We used to bring her unusual soft drinks - she got a kick out of the colours and at least she was getting some sugar.

Sorry to hear about your mum. Not quite the same but my dad lost all but his very peripheral vision recently and has struggled with the massive change that has brought to his life (no driving, reading, DIY projects etc...).

Audible audiobooks have been a godsend to him. When I first suggested it (I'm an avid user myself) he thought it wouldn't work for him as his concentration wasn't very good but he now goes through a new audiobook every couple of weeks and positively enthuses about it to other people. There is loads of choice of fiction and non-fiction (he loves history books about the war) so there's something for everyone.

If your mum's sight is ok my friend managed to get hold of a couple of old second hand ipads when her mum was in hospital and downloaded a few TV programmes/films onto them from iPlayer or All4 then switched them out each time she visited so she could re-charge and add different programmes every few days. Not necessarily a cheap solution though.

Hope you find something to help and sending you and your mum very best wishes.

What about some colouring books and pencils.

Thank you all - some lovely suggestions.
At least it's the weekend now and I can spend more time with her. Dad goes everyday but sometimes they just irritate each other

Weirdly, when my Mum was struggling to concentrate, we found she quite liked fuzzy felt. Also simple craft things like making cards or just sorting bits out. I had a big container of buttons which she would 'help' me organise.
Does your mum knit or crochet?

Most libraries have online Libby etc where you can get audio books if audible is a bit steep. Also magazines if she has a tablet?

All the best

Could you take in photo albums for her to flick through. Or could she organise your loose photos into albums as an activity. If you mostly keep digital, pay to get printed and buy albums for her to put together.

Is she religious? I only ask because you can get some lovely adult colouring books with bible verses and psalms in them. (Maybe they do them with secular poetry too.) That might be a good mix of a few things to read/thing about but nothing too taxing or that requires a lot of concentration, and then she could do the colouring?

Another vote for audio books. My blind grandfather could work a cheap old school CD Walkman and the library had an audible book CD section.

Try an iPad or cheap tablet with very basic visual/sliding object type games and clear the Home Screen of all other buttons. Also load with photos. They are surprisingly easy to navigate for old people who are computer illiterate

Pack of extra small playing cards so she can play patience. Can you take in some bits of food with you? Things to tempt her.

My MIL ended up in hospital for about 6 months and she got bored. She had an iPad we set up with scrabble for her and FaceTime so we could call her whilst on a walk or in the garden and show her outside which she loved. She asked us to bring in some wool and she made a blanket and a few other bits. She got some friends to visit every now and then which was nice ( as we live 3 hours away)

I bought my mum a portable dvd player. IIRC I may have had to buy an additional mains cable as they mostly come with plugs for cars.
Then she'd be able to watch films. Dvd's can be picked up quite cheaply now. My DM wouldn't have coped with watching films on an iPad as she wouldn't have been able to find them!

@AuntiePushpa

Could you take in photo albums for her to flick through. Or could she organise your loose photos into albums as an activity. If you mostly keep digital, pay to get printed and buy albums for her to put together.

I love this idea! It also reminded me, when my dad was in hospital a number of years ago after a heart attack my son was doing a history project at school at the time and took a box of old photographs in and my dad really enjoyed spending a few hours talking to my son about the people in the pictures and how they fitted into our family tree and telling him stories about them. It really brightened him up (and gave my son loads of material for his project) - I'd completely forgotten about that!

I've just bought my mum a jigsaw via the website Relish who do things for adults with cognitive impairment. So it's a nice picture suitable for adults but it's only 35 pieces. I'm not sure if she'll be able to do it but it's certainly not impossible especially with the support of a carer. In hospital I would also provide a jigsaw roll or mat (maybe cut down to half or a quarter) so she could do bits and then come back to it.

No harm in checking whether medication for depression has been considered too.

Website here Relish

These reminiscence books here are great too. But I agree that family photos are the best of all. You need something to share now to make a conversation.

Lots of magazines, I read all sorts when I'm in hospital (semi frequently). Always take a pack of cards - end up playing a lot of Patience!

Jigsaws, yes. Does she knit/crochet?

Definitely audiobooks and if you can get her an ipad or similar to watch TV on that would be brilliant. Appreciate that she might not be technically literate though.

Difficult with the tail end of covid but ask the ward and do research of your own about dedicated on ward visitors. Pre coivd volunteers for various organisations would go into chat to and keep company patients. Look for local charities and red Cross. Also have a chat with hospital chaplain who'll probably know a lot!

My Dad is a big reader but was struggling cognitively when in hospital recently. I bought a few word search books for days when he's not up to much. I also bought a sudoku and crossword book for when he's doing a bit better.