Aunt with dementia - attempted suicide

[Triotriotrio]

My aunt tried to kill herself last night. I have POA for her health but no one contacted me. I found our via neighbours as her milk hadn't been taken in. She refuses any help and has been a danger to herself for ages. She refused to engaged with dementia team so they discharged her!!

Looks like she took an overdose and drank 3 bottles of wine and wrote 3 suicide notes. Was sick everywhere, incontinent then fell asleep, woke up forgot she had tried to kill herself, fell over and called an ambulance.

Finally they have assessed her as having no capacity and have done a DOLS. They have kept her in for assessment tonight and will decide what to do tomorrow. I'm so scared they will just discharge her. The nurse said that she is so convincing about not having dementia that they nearly discharged her immediately as she said she just had a fall and was fine. In fact, they nearly did a safeguarding referral about me, as she told them I'm stealing all her things!! They only realised this was not true when they observed her for a bit longer and then I rocked up with all the paperwork.

She is going to end up dead on her own and I feel so bloody helpless.

One thing you can do is set out in writing what you are prepared to do. For example, you are prepared to visit not more than once a week and will not do any personal care or prepare meals. Understate, because they will assume anything you say you can do you will do forever, with no sick leave or holidays. And your aunt may well be saying “I manage perfectly well with a bit of help from Trio”. So putting out the facts pushes the problem back on to them, and makes it less likely that they”ll simply discharge.

Has she got her house keys with her? If not, then I see no reason to take them in to her.

Is she on medication OP? People with dementia go through that period of having fluctuating insight into their condition which can triggers lots of feelings of depression. Medication can keep people in that stage longer with it slowing down progression of the disease. She should be assessed by the mental health team before leaving - they may deem her needing a period of further assessment in a MH hospital or facilitate a safer discharge with support. Sending hugs x x