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Elderly parents
Original poster

New care home visiting restrictions

49 replies

DuesToTheDirt · 11/12/2021 20:38

Anyone else expecting their Christmas visiting to be curtailed following today's announcement on care home visits? There will now be a maximum of three (nominated) visitors for each resident. I haven't seen any comment on this, and am waiting to see what the care home will do.

Four of us (me, DH and two children) were expecting to visit my mum over Christmas. It is a long way, so we don't get to see her very often, and we were planning to go down, stay overnight, and do some visits over two days. Recent restrictions have meant visiting max 2 at a time, so last time we went into the home in relays, and took her our for lunch, and I was hoping we could do the same this time.

Now I'm thinking it may be just me that can go in and see her, as there is also my brother who will want to visit, and her local friend, which takes us to three. The home does have a sealed pod in the garden, so I'm hoping the others can at least visit using the pod.

Yeah, I know we all have to be careful of covid, but it really sucks.

OP posts:
AChickenCalledDaal · 11/12/2021 20:43

At the moment, we're planning to bring my dad over to our house for a bit on Boxing Day and then I was going to visit with my aunt and uncle a few days later. So we're probably OK on the three visitors thing, but I'm feeling that the visit to our house is probably not going to be allowed, which is really sad. The one thing he really, really wants for Christmas is a little change of scene, and we had just about figured out how to handle it.

CalamariGames · 11/12/2021 20:43

I just read about this and it made me feel a bit sad for people and their loved ones in residential homes. Is your mum fully vaccinated? There seemed to be something in the article I read about fully vaccinated residents being allowed out if they took LFT every 2 days, but you would need to look that up.

PinkBuffalo · 11/12/2021 20:44

My mum not elderly but is in a home due to disabilities
I am gutted to be honest. We have just lost my little sister suddenly due to a sudden illness and we are not coping at all
Mum is not in a good state but I am going away for xmas to stay with friends cos I am also not doing good.
I have not heard anything from the home who usually keep me up to date on everything, but I am going to talk to them tomorrow about booking a video call in for xmas day as I will not be here but I am going to see her tomorrow

PinkBuffalo · 11/12/2021 20:45

And same, we only allowed max two people at a time. Meant when my sister died we had to do a bit of a relay cos only two people allowed in at a time
It is so hard

MereDintofPandiculation · 11/12/2021 20:59

@CalamariGames

I just read about this and it made me feel a bit sad for people and their loved ones in residential homes. Is your mum fully vaccinated? There seemed to be something in the article I read about fully vaccinated residents being allowed out if they took LFT every 2 days, but you would need to look that up.
If that’s so, it makes a bit of a nonsense of the “only three visitors” thing, doesn’t it?
CalamariGames · 11/12/2021 21:17

Sorry I can't find the article I read now, also it may be wrong of course.

Itsmeandhim · 11/12/2021 21:19

My mil is near the end of her life. We are hoping that she is still here for Xmas.
None of our grandchildren can visit as they are under 18.
Even now only 2 are permitted at any one time.

BendingSpoons · 11/12/2021 21:20

Feeling sad about it. My gran is in a home about 10 mins from me. I have been visiting with my young children regularly. I won't be 'top 3'. Genuinely worried I won't see her again.

CalamariGames · 11/12/2021 21:21

Found something here metro.co.uk/2021/12/11/christmas-can-you-visit-loved-ones-in-care-homes-covid-restrictions-15755185/ it says "Fully-vaccinated residents visiting family and friends outside of their care home will be asked to take a lateral flow test on alternate days for two weeks after each outing, while unvaccinated residents planning to visit outside of the home will have to isolate upon their return."

Original poster
DuesToTheDirt · 12/12/2021 11:48

On our last visit we could only go in two at a time, but all four of us could take her out to the pub for lunch...

Doesn't seem to make sense, but at least that was better than 2020, which I had to skip altogether as visiting consisted of 30 min visits in the garden, pre-booked, to be cancelled in case of rain. With a 5 hr train journey each way!

We were gradually getting improvements to visiting, but now this. It feels like my mum is in prison.

OP posts:
IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 12/12/2021 12:42

We are in Wales and I am constantly checking the news for local updates. At the moment mum is allowed 2 visitors at once. They do limit the number of people in the home at any time but only once have we not been able to get the requested slot.

All five of my adult DC are home for Christmas and want to see her, they had also hoped to take their partners as well. But I can't see it happening.

MereDintofPandiculation · 13/12/2021 11:17

@DuesToTheDirt

On our last visit we could only go in two at a time, but all four of us could take her out to the pub for lunch...

Doesn't seem to make sense, but at least that was better than 2020, which I had to skip altogether as visiting consisted of 30 min visits in the garden, pre-booked, to be cancelled in case of rain. With a 5 hr train journey each way!

We were gradually getting improvements to visiting, but now this. It feels like my mum is in prison.

Yes re prison! Half hour wait in the car park for LFT to cook, then supervised visit in the dining room.

What got me was the coming and going of restrictions. I got a visit through a slightly open window, then that was stopped and the window had to be closed. Then they stopped issuing aprons and gloves, and you could wear your own mask. Now you have to wear one of theirs. One week it’s hand gel, next week it’s washing, next week it’s both. Currently it’s as good as it ever has been, LFT at home, show home that I Have self reported a negative, temperature, fill in form, given mask, escorted to wash hands and then to father’s room, but I-can shut the door to keep the noise out, and I don’t have to wait to be escorted out

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 13/12/2021 12:14

We have to have a negative LFT. Some staff want to see it, others say "You wouldn't offer to show it if you hadn't got proof". They always take our temps. One nurse wouldn't let DD do mum's nails. One suggested my DD should take her mask off for a photo.

I have just booked visits for mum's birthday and Christmas Day. Nothing has changed here - yet.

Mum5net · 13/12/2021 14:26

Visits now paused until further notice as per Scottish guidance that came in today. Separately our care home also gone into special measures. DM has v advanced mixed dementia so will be unaware.
However, really sad and disappointed for others whose visits were very necessary for theirs and their relative's well being, especially those in disabled settings. However, I can't see how they could do it any other way as this group is among the most vulnerable as it proved in lockdown 1.

Original poster
DuesToTheDirt · 13/12/2021 18:11

Haven't seen that Mum5net. We're actually in Scotland but my mum is in England. I'm just waiting to see if they'll say we're not allowed to visit other family in England either, as happened last Christmas!

OP posts:
Mum5net · 13/12/2021 22:16

My DSis tried to book to see DM and was told that guidance just released today.
As our particular home now in special measures- separate issue- they have extra social workers stationed there - so they will have hoovered the guidance more than usual. Surprised it not made the news.

Mum5net · 15/12/2021 19:43

So just found the guidance for Scotland and care homes are still open but visits can only involve people from up to two households. And a lateral flow covid test must be taken beforehand. Must just be our care home that’s imposed a closure. Sad

Original poster
DuesToTheDirt · 16/12/2021 11:00

@Mum5net Sad

I'm still waiting for an update from our home. I phoned them yesterday, but they hadn't been told anything, despite new English government regulations coming in yesterday.

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 16/12/2021 13:35

@Mum5net

So just found the guidance for Scotland and care homes are still open but visits can only involve people from up to two households. And a lateral flow covid test must be taken beforehand. Must just be our care home that’s imposed a closure. Sad
One of the big English care home companies caused outrage yesterday by imposing a complete ban
sjxoxo · 16/12/2021 13:45

I think the care home restrictions are currently a joke.. I agree we need to be careful but at the Avery care home where my grandma is, the visit organiser woman is like a prison guard. You have to fill forms in every single visit, provide a LFT, can only stay for 45minutes, and up until recently, had to sit in a freezing cold shed. Diabolical. I feel like they’ve taken my grandma prisoner and she’s going to die as a result of lack of social contact & stimulation; she has advanced dementia. You also have to wait in the rain. The fees are around £5000 a month.
xo

sjxoxo · 16/12/2021 13:47

Oh and also no physical contact whatsoever.
What’s the point of a negative test then. What’s the point of 45 minutes? Does covid appear after 45 minutes. It’s just insanity for the sake of it. x

Mum5net · 17/12/2021 10:11

Our care home has Covid. Called today. No visiting for minimum of ten days. They are monitoring situation.

jpbee · 17/12/2021 10:14

Grandma in her 90s went in a care home around September.

We used to be allowed 5 key visitors who could see her indoors but is now reduced to 3 and they must be vaccinated people (they don't check though, just trust that you are). But this means my 3 year old can no longer visit (she was going once a week previously).

We have also been told no visitors are allowed in on Christmas Day due to low staff levels. This is disappointing as it will be her first Christmas away from family and we were hoping for a short visit that day.

jpbee · 17/12/2021 10:16

[quote DuesToTheDirt]@Mum5net Sad

I'm still waiting for an update from our home. I phoned them yesterday, but they hadn't been told anything, despite new English government regulations coming in yesterday.[/quote]
@DuesToTheDirt Ours said the same, they still haven't formally been told anything and are relying on hearsay and tabloid news to guess what they need to do. Very unfair on them. I hope you get some news today.

MereDintofPandiculation · 17/12/2021 10:44

@sjxoxo

Oh and also no physical contact whatsoever. What’s the point of a negative test then. What’s the point of 45 minutes? Does covid appear after 45 minutes. It’s just insanity for the sake of it. x
LTFs miss a lot of infections. If yours is a false negative, all the while you are there, even with a mask you are emitting a steady stream of infective particles. That will add up to fewer after 45 minutes compared with 3 hours, say. So I can live with that.

What I can’t understand is the complete closing of the home every time a carer tests positive. The danger there is of the infection spreading outward from the home. And if double vacced contacts in the outside world don’t have to isolate why should double vacced care home contacts have to isolate?

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