Christmas present woes!

[IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere]

I know there is a separate Christmas section but I wanted advice from others with experience of oldies and residential homes.

Mum has dementia and is unable to move herself at all. She has to be hoisted in and out of the wheelchair/bed etc. She is nearly blind - fully blind in one eye and a large cataract in the other.

She spends most of her time in the sitting room with the other residents so would not get much use from anything for her room. In her room she already has a lava lamp and a fish/bubble lamp.

"Her" duvet which was put on her bed when she moved in has disappeared (she hasn't noticed so I haven't asked!) and blankets seem to be passed round to whoever needs one at the time. She did ask me to bring one in a couple of weeks ago because the one she was using wasn't hers but I haven't seen it since. She's never without a blanket but not her own one.

She doesn't like listening to music and hasn't got much of a sense of smell. She has piles of sweets and drinks in her room but unless someone opens them and puts one in her hand she doesn't have them.

Her birthday is on the 19th and for that I have bought her a photo cushion of her dog which she can hold or leave on the bed but I am at a loss to know what else to get her for her birthday.

Last year she had a photo blanket with pictures of the grandchildren which she loves. That one stays in her room and is a great talking point but beyond that I am stuck.

Any ideas at all?

Nice toiletries/washbag/brush (obvious but useful), thermal socks/warm footwear/slippers, drinks bottle, video of the family with messages to listen to, fluffy blanket with extra large personalisation , plug in wall clock with day, date and time, nightwear. It's really difficult!

DH gets a book of photographs made up. He is a keen wildlife photographer and mixes those with family photos.

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere You have done so well with your darling DM over the last six months.
Here's my take on this.
Get everyone in the family to grab 3 or 4 separate short video clips of themselves saying 'hi' or 'happy birthday' or' Hey Gran, what you up to?'' and then do a 5 or 6 minute montage set to music that you can play on a loop when you go see her. Even better, delegate to a teenager. If her vision is poor get your participants to concentrate on the words rather than the images.
For her birthday present, I would bake her your version of the cakes she made when she was younger and produced in her own kitchen. So for my mum I bring her meringues and fairy cakes. If she's not a baker, just hunt down caramel short cake or jaffa cakes or whatever she liked in the 80s and 90s.
Bring a tea party to her room, even with paper cups and blowers and balloons. We buy the large balloons which have sequins inside which make a noise when she bats them and maybe play balloon tig with DM. My DM loves that game .
You could even leave her with a 'party bag' of a blower, a piece of cake, a toy etc
And finally, encourage all the youngsters in the family to send you some photos taken on their phones and maybe use a photo service to print copies off in a large enough size for her to see.

Thank you everyone. @Mum5net you are inspirational! I have bought her a video greetings card. I will get all the grandchildren and spouses, cousins, godson/goddaughter to send me clips and put them on the greetings card. It is rechargeable so I can take it home every now and then to charge up.

So far as a party is concerned the home will handle all that. I asked if I could provide cakes and things and they said no, it's something they do for everyone. I might take her a meringue from Tesco - along with a paper plate and a spoon to eat it with - but because of Covid we can't eat with her. I have messaged all the kids and asked them to send her a card - they send the massive Moon Pig ones with their faces on and she loves them - any thing that can be a talking point for her.

But the video clips are perfect. Thank you.

Actually, @IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere I didn't know that video greetings cards are a 'thing' but have just looked them up on Etsy. We've just been doing the 'present' video clips for quite a while.
DM is in her seventh year of care home existence. Eventually you run out of gifts to give. It's in-person experience that is required. But Covid restrictions mean it's an exclusive party for one, with one masked onlooker.
So, as I am the only other person in DM's room and DM only speaks in random phrases, a whole hour can be excruciating.
Whether birthday or normal day, my route is to FaceTime my DBro and DSis (who live in other countries) from her room and my DM listens in. I've no idea how much she grasps but I hope hearing our voices resonates.
We started the film clips because my DC are at uni or at work and can't be 'live' at 3pm on a Friday.
MY DM has a huge sweet tooth but very few actual teeth. She no longer knows her mouth is where you put food and has to be fed. I guess that's why the home baking is a big thing for her as I hope the tastes of previously love events wake up other senses.
OP, with a large extended family and youngsters so happy to use their phones, this is absolutely your route in the months to come, especially if DM's eyesight is failing. Just record little snippets through the week for her of the grandkids coming back from school and their stories. I've followed your journey from the garden to the care home over the last year or so. It's great that she has others now to call upon for 24 hr care. You are the inspirational one

I buy my DM cosy clothes, nightwear or photo gifts. She had Alzheimer’s and is severely visually impaired but still enjoys the photos.

My elderly mum doesn’t have Alzheimer’s but has restricted mobility and few interests. I have got her a box of fidget toys from the Works as she showed an interest in DS’s popping toy and I remembered she had a squeezey toy she was fond of.

Thank you for the further ideas. I'm going to get her a popping fidget toy on the basis that it is good exercise for her fingers - she wanted a torch a couple of weeks ago and it took us ages to find one she could operate because of the lack of strength in her hands.

I have just bought her a mermaid cushion - red and silver sequins - so she can "play" with it. I think they are horrible and wouldn't want one in my house but she thinks they are fascinating.

Hopefully she won't suggest I take everything home with me "to be ready for her return"!