Giving up POA and other help.

[NK346f2849X127d8bca260]

I have POA for my mother and asked about how i revoke that, thanks for the replies.

I now want to have no contact with my mother. It has been so stressful with her and the abuse towards my dying father since July.
He is now in nursing home after the latest attack towards him.
She is now telling lies about me ringing relatives and even cleaner saying she has no food so that i have to contact her.
Her MH team have now discharged her and have said her behaviour is not dementia but long standing personality disorder, i suspect she is a malignant narcissist and she has now become sadistic.
I am doing her shopping online but have no direct contact with her as i am working out what she needs and carers let me know what needs ordering.
Social services said i can just walk away but what do i do about her bills and food?
My mental health is starting to suffer, i have so much to do with constant calls from SS, care agencies etc for both my parents. I am doing it all on my own as i am only child as my sibling walked away from family many years ago.
I hate my mother for what she has done to my father, she pretends it hasn't happened, if i question her she is verbally abusive and controlling.

Walk away Op, walk away.

Op, that sounds so hard. If mother has capacity you can just walk away and stop doing things.

POA is for when someone can’t do these things themselves.

If she can do them then you are fine.

If she can’t then write formally to her and adult services/GP/other professionals working with her stating you have been doing ABC but are stopping from a particular date (2 days notice is fine). Tell them what needs doing and leave them to it.

If she won’t do it that’s different from can’t, and her choice unless social care already involved and she lacks choice.

Bills - adult social care can manage her money and bills themselves if she can’t and there is no one to do it for them.

Food - adult social care can provide caters to shop as well.

You may need to put everything together and pass it all over to them.

Then some self care for you 💐

Carers to shop

She has mental capacity, her mental health team assessed her again last week.
I was told by SS a few months ago to activate POA that my mother had put in place because of her mobility issues/eyesight and also her poor education that means she finds it difficult to manage her finances.
I didn't want to activate but felt pressure to do so, i realise i should have said no then.

Let everyone know you are cutting ties and are no longer being involved. You have as much right as your sibling to do so.

@freshcarnation

Let everyone know you are cutting ties and are no longer being involved. You have as much right as your sibling to do so.

My brother has just done this. He is the one that lives local to my Mum's extra care facility, and who gets all the abuse.

The care service in the facility completely understands. They've seen her in action. Now all he does is pop by once a fortnight with as much money as she needs for her requirements (her card had to be locked away as she was taking out loads of money at the machine downstairs, to bribe other residents of the flats to go and buy alcohol for her) and he takes it to the care office in the building. As she's disabled the carers have to do her shopping, so it's pretty easy to keep track of it.

I live a couple of hours away so am no use on a day to day needs basis. I totally support his actions. We both retain POA for any point at which we need it, but our actual involvement is minimal.