A place to chat about living with elderly parents.

[MammaLovesLeopard]

Anyone fancy a space to talk / feel sorry for ourselves?

Elderly Ps have only been staying with us for 6 months & I'm finding it really hard.

DF has various health conditions and needs care. Which we have sorted here at home between us and a carer.

DM is very preoccupied with her aches pains & anxiety. She never used to be like this. I realise it's shit getting old. I try to be as supportive & understanding as I can but it's hard when there is no let up.

We generally get on very well & I love her desrly. But we've just shouted at each other over something stupid about the kids.
It's getting me down, annoying me & making me feel sad.

They are only staying for a few months. In some ways it's lovely e.g for the kids to spend more time with them. I realise they won't be here forever... and feel bad for admitting this but it's really adding to my stress levels.

I have a very responsible and stressful job, rambunctious kids, quite a stressful marriage & am peri menopausal. It just all feels a bit like something's got to give at some point 😢

Come and join us in the Cockroach Cafe - there's a bad daughter's room an its full of humour, compassion and support - and absolutely no judgement! It's just what you are looking for - a continuous thread to share the highs and lows of caring.

The fact your parents have been living with you for six months and you've only just shouted at your mum sounds wonderful! I only coped with mine in the granny annex because I could at least walk home and rant to my husband or the dogs.

We lived side by side with my parents for 30+ years (dad died 9 years ago) and 5 months ago mum went into hospital and then into a home. I love her and miss her but appreciate every minute of freedom!

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere oh I will thank you so much!
And thanks for not judging me 💛

Are they waiting for something to be built? When are they moving out?

You have my sympathy.

Yes they are waiting for some modifications to be done so that they are able to stay in their home.
It's going to be another month I think. So we are nearly there 🤞🤞🤞

I can't imagine living with anyone except my husband and it taking 6 months to shout at them.

Be kind to yourself (and count down the days).

I do realise there are lots of people on here who have been caring for sick parents for years & I am in total awe of you. It feels like the loving thing to do. But it seems like one of the hardest. Sending strength to anyone doing this 💖

@Disfordarkchocolate

I can't imagine living with anyone except my husband and it taking 6 months to shout at them.

Be kind to yourself (and count down the days).

It was more my mum shouting at me. But I was a bit stressed & grumpy. When she started I was so angry I just had to leave the house 🙈

I should add that I am not usually so restrained as a person.

Arrrgh I just can't bear being so irritated by her. I love her to pieces but she's in a very anxious place which is doing my head in.

Parents hey?

Keep thinking of their lovely and suitable revamped place.

@MammaLovesLeopard

I do realise there are lots of people on here who have been caring for sick parents for years & I am in total awe of you. It feels like the loving thing to do. But it seems like one of the hardest. Sending strength to anyone doing this 💖

I don’t think any of us set out to care for years. It creeps up on you. If anyone said “ … and can you keep doing this for the next 10 years” we’d have run away straight away.

@MereDintofPandiculation very good point!