administrative support for parent

[WanderleyWagon]

I am a long-time lurker and occasional commenter; I hope it isn't out of order to post multiple queries to this board (which I have found so so helpful over recent years).

I live in the UK but my dad (80) doesn't. He doesn't need personal care, but he doesn't understand his phone very well and can't always see messages.

I've been doing a lot of his domestic admin online for him for years, which was fine until two-factor authentication came in. NOw it's a problem because I get right to the end of filling in the only form or whatever, and then he doesn't seem to see the authentication requests come in on his phone.

I should say he's not got obvious/advanced signs of dementia - he's always been terrible with technology/phones, going right back to the days of public call-boxes in pubs. :) But there's some cognitive decline there for sure.

Has anybody had this problem with a parent - that the support needed was administrative rather than personal care - and found an effective way of doing this remotely? He can afford to hire secretarian/admin help, or get a new device, if that would help, but I'm just not sure what kind of assistance is out there.

Any advice would be brilliant. I'm travelling to see him tomorrow for a few days, and was hoping to be able to suggest some solutions.

Can he have a new number and phone whilst you have the one with all the two factor things on it?

Key logger on his phone or some sort of spyware?

Can you change the number registered on the various accounts to your number, or is there an issue with it having a different country code?

I had this issue this week with my mother: I was sorting something financial out for her, as I have LPA; the confirmation email went to her account and she had difficulty finding it to click the confirmation link. I talked her through it and she found it in the junk folder, so I didn't need to go round.

Luckily we haven't run into anything needing 2FA using a mobile phone for her yet, as a) she doesn't have a mobile phone, and b) there is no mobile reception in most of the house even if she got one. There must be ways around it for people in similar situations, so I will be interested to hear if anyone has found one.

Most 2FA you can choose a phone call rather than text so can be a landline.

Thanks so much for your comments and suggestions, everyone - that's much appreciated. I'll consider all of these!

I got Teamviewer for seeing what he sees on his laptop only now he's not able to use the laptop anymore :( and I have access to his email, which solves a lot of problems. This 2FA thing is just new and has spooked me a bit...

His smartphone has actually really improved his quality of life over the last few years, so I do think he needs to keep it, but I'm considering getting him a Doro, which I hear can be easier for older users.

Would he allow you Power of Attorney? Then all 2FA could be to your phone anyway. He manages his current account, you manage the rest. Not sure how POA works outside the UK. It may be that you have to use the equivalent in his country, and that may not allow you to act while he has capacity. So pragmatic approach may be to buy him a new phone and take charge of the one needed for 2FA.

If he’s lost the ability to use his laptop you may find his smart phone use declines. And he may find it easier to continue with reduced use of Android or iOS than to learn a different way of working. I programmed my Dad’s Doro so that the button with a painted D on it got straight through to me (Dint), but he still preferred to type in my full number.

Thank you, @Dint! Thank you for all the suggestions. I have POA but here it seems only to be when one has lost capacity, but I'm investigating that further. I'm interested to hear that your dad uses a Doro. I haven't found a bricks-and-mortar shop here yet that stocks them to have a look, but I'm still looking!

If he is happy for you to do it just set the two factor authentication to be your number. He won't care, the banks etc won't care as long as it's business as usual on his accounts.

2FA is just to stop randoms stealing your card details and buying stuff off the internet. As long as you have the log in details to change the phone number it won't be an issue at all.

I have a technophobe family member who doesn't have a phone (not elderly) and all their 2FAs come to me.

Could you visit him for the weekend and get him a samsung phone? They have a way that you can get get your phone calls and messages linked to your laptop. Had to do this recently for work and was super easy to set up. You would have it done in 10 mins. I am sure other phone networks do it too

@WanderleyWagon

Thank you, *@Dint*! Thank you for all the suggestions. I have POA but here it seems only to be when one has lost capacity, but I'm investigating that further. I'm interested to hear that your dad uses a Doro. I haven't found a bricks-and-mortar shop here yet that stocks them to have a look, but I'm still looking!

Dad’s Doro is a clamshell non-smart. He only ever uses it to phone me. Clamshell because it fires up as you open the lid. 4 programmable buttons, I’ve set up one to phone me and one his favourite grandson, and painted our initials on them. There’s a panic button on the back - pressing it rings all the family in turn till someone answers.

It’s a very nice little phone, works nicely.

LPS finances and property can be used with someone's consent even before they've lost capacity. LPA health and welfare can't be, as they have to lack capacity in that decision doe you to make it for them. But this is U.K. legislation not the capacity legislation or POAs that will be relevant in the country that Dad is resident. You need to have what legal authority applies under his country of residence and follow that.