Struggling with disabled parent - the saga continues..

[Duchess379]

Those of you who've read my previous post will know that my mum, 67 has suffered several strokes which resulted in a triple heart bypass in 2017. Her mobility ever since has declined.
Last week, she was complaining of feeling unwell, she complained of chest pains & was very shaky, she couldn't hold her coffee properly. I rang for an ambulance, paramedics were absolutely fabulous & realised straight away that something was amiss. She was more vague than usual & couldn't remember how to take her insulin. As a result she ended up going to hospital.

For the first few days, all was well. Dr's diagnosed a UTI & prescribed strong antibiotics. They were also alarmed at her very high blood sugar readings (diabetic, blood sugars were 20+..) so her insulin was changed & the dose upped. By the 4th day, all hell broke loose. She was verbally abusive to the nurses in the night shift, wouldn't allow them to administer her antibiotics or insulin & accused them of drugging her. I was phoned at about 10pm asking to assist, so I had to drive to the hospital which is only 10 mins away to help where I can.

It was like my mum was possessed! Absolute mad ramblings & accusations made against the nurses, I was really alarmed!
I went to see her the next day & she was a lot more calm but still not herself.
Last night, just gone midnight, I get the mother of all calls from staff saying mum has physically attacked them. I ended up being in the hospital until 0330 trying at calm her down. She was full of conspiracy theories, claiming staff were killing patients & storing them in the basement. Nurses had tried to give her the insulin & she physically kicked one in the chest & one in the face! When I got their, she wasn't even contrite. Almost like she's had a psychotic break! Dr's are trying to figure it out and I'm left thinking 'wtf', whilst trying to sort out our move to a bungalow, which we've done to assist her!
I'm at an absolute loss & don't know what is best. Do I bring her home & hope it's the hospital environment that's driven her doo-lally or do I leave her there, seething & believing it's a conspiracy to kill her off.. 🥺🤦🏼‍♀️

Oh and btw at 67 your mum isn't that old. My DH was younger than her, and I would never have called him "elderly".

I hope things improve and you hear things that reassure you your mother is getting what she needs to improve. Delirium, if that is the underlying problem, can take a lot longer to fully resolve than you might think unfortunately.

It sounds, sadly, like she is "elderly" physiologically even though not in years. On that point, though, it sounds to me like she might well benefit from the input of a consultant geriatrician, especially with regards to her sleeping patterns.

Best wishes for improvements.

@ineedtostop

Oh and btw at 67 your mum isn't that old. My DH was younger than her, and I would never have called him "elderly".

She'll be furious I've called her elderly! 😉🤦🏼‍♀️

@ineedtostop

This sounds exactly like how my late husband's illness began. Going on my own experience, this is what they should be/will be looking at:

1. Vit B deficiency
2. UTI
3. Lewy body dementia

Maybe all three. The manifestation of the psychosis you describe is horribly familiar. Everything about it. If they haven't tested for the vit B, get them to do so. Probably they've checked for UTI. Lewy Body Dementia is a bastard to live with, experience and diagnose... but in the end that was what it was. Sorry.

Vit B - that's an interesting point, I'm sure she's been low on that before, because she doesn't get out much. I'll shall bring this up, thank you

@PanicBuyingSprouts

Meantime, my mum who sounds a lot better in herself has said there is no mention of a scan, that a Dr required last Friday. Wtf are they doing? I'm not impressed tbh.

If you're not impressed you can always call the ward and ask things like when is she likely to get the scan. They won't mind answering calls like that, well not in my experience anyway

I'm going in to see mum soon, so I'll be making some enquiries... 👍🏼

I meant the patient is worried about their own safety because of their symptoms, but they don't need to be worried because the hospital is trying to make them better not harm them. However, maybe I should have been talking about the staff, as security were needed to take my dad back to the ward when he decided to walk home brandishing a walking stick. It is difficult for everyone. He was diagnosed with vascular dementia, but all patients are different. I hope you mum is OK OP.

I've just got home from the hospital & she's completely normal! I have no idea who the psycho was that I dealt with in the early hours of Monday but she's now gone! I've been told physio want to talk to me. Hopefully they'll visit my mum tomorrow as well. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I've just got home from the hospital & she's completely normal! I have no idea who the psycho was that I dealt with in the early hours of Monday but she's now gone! I've been told physio want to talk to me. Hopefully they'll visit my mum tomorrow as well

That sounds really positive

All of your mother's behaviour could be down to the UTI.
Most people just have no idea how a urine infection can complete change personality and behaviour. Rationality and communication goes straight out of the window. Aggression can be off the scale.. as you have seen.
The rest of her medical issues can only add to the problem.
Insist on physio and full care package being in place before you consider your Mum going home.. if you dont... nothing will happen and it will be assumed you will pick up the slack.

It may well have been just the UTI.
When my Mum was in hospital there was a day when she was completely out of it, and both her OH and I thought she was at death's door.

Next day - having first had a Very Serious Talk about her Advanced Care Plan with the doctor - I was allowed into the ward, approached her bed with trepidation, only to hear her chatting happily with the nurse from behind the curtain!

They had changed the antibiotics and the new ones had started working !

I have never been so happy to be proved wrong .

You are in my prayers. Call up the hospital and ask them about the scan etc. Refuse to have her at home unless things have improved significantly in terms of her general health.

So glad she is getting better.

Guys, you wouldn't believe what caused this 'psychotic' episode - she hasn't had a bowel movement for a while & Dr's believe, combined with the UTI & very high blood sugar readings, that she had a lot of toxins in her system that tipped her over the edge!
I wrote them another letter, trying to find answers & mentioned that she hadn't pooped for a while & it was almost like a Eureka moment for the Dr's!
She's now on laxatives, her mobility is better & she's back to her usual self.
She has no recollection of Monday night, only snippets that she thought she was dreaming! To her, she was in The house of Horrors & The men in black were there to kill her, so she was fighting to save her life.
In reality, it was the night duty nurses trying to give her insulin.
I'll never let her live this down 😆

Hope your mum is feeling a lot better.

This happened us too with our Dad, phone call at 2am from hospital to go and help them calm him down, when we got there he was in a straight jacket in isolation- he thought people were trying to kill him and kept lashing out

He was 85 and quite feeble but psychosis gave him his strength back seemingly

Yep.. poop and pee.. nobody likes talking about them but they are really REALLY important... absolutely vital!!
So pleased to hear you have got 'your' Mum back!!