Relocating parent

[Doubledoorsontogarden]

My parent has been widowed and diagnosed with Parkinson’s. I’m thinking to suggest relocating them to my area. Their house would be sold but wouldn’t be enough to buy local to me, so ideally I would mortgage part of the property and pay the mortgage for that amount. There is no way of an outright purchase being possible local to me.

Legally it’s complex, how do I stand on care costs? Where the property is only co owned by the person needing care? Will council claim deprivation of assets? How to access care when moving to an entirely different area?

No idea where you stand legally sorry. Does your partner want to move?

Have you thought of them renting a flat in a retirement village instead of buying?

Why?

My mother moved to a retirement flat near me three years ago and has been completely miserable there ever since. Now, I will be honest, this weekend she had a sudden illness and for the first time it was really good that she was near me.

But I would say now only to move an older person if they can articulate exactly what they want from the move and why it works, and you can find a place they love. Or if there's been a crisis and there's no choice.

I think this like familiar setting, familiar shopkeepers etc are exceptionally important for older people.

However, my mum was 83 when she moved, with some cognitive decline. That was too late. I don't understand exactly what arrangement you need but if be cautious about blending finances.

The why = widowed this year. There is no one local to them to visit or be visited by. The current home is in a rural location and parent has recently lost the ability to drive. I’m the only relative (and my DC) who wants to be part of their life.

If local I can visit regularly, include them in my cooking plans and drop off food etc. Gladly would see them several times a week. Currently it’s a 5/6 hour journey each way.

How do I find details of a rental option? Can my parent sell up and use that money for rent? What about care costs?

Is there a type of solicitor who deals with this sort of thing?

Yes they can sell up and use that money for rent. To find one, just Google retirement villages near to you.

Have a look at the facilities carefully. My DMs has lots going on including regular activities and a restaurant. There is one near to us that doesn't have a restaurant or activities abs the lift has been broken for ages leaving many residents stranded.

Can my parent sell up and use that money for rent? What about care costs? He has to live! “Deprivation of assets” is about spending money on things you wouldn’t normally spend on, or giving it away to friends and relatives, to avoid it being available for care. Not about paying rent because you’ve moved house in order to access care from your family.

Or you could part own, making sure the part you own is clearly specified, can’t remember whether it’s “tenants in common” or “joint tenants”, I think it’s the former but you can google. Then if he needed a care home he’d be assessed on his share of the house, not on yours.

But do get legal advice. Solicitors for the Elderly is an association of independent solicitors who specialise in the affairs of the elderly.

Personally I wouldn’t buy a retirement property as they are expensive and can be very hard to sell on.
When I needed to move DM to be near me I found an extra care sheltered housing facility and we rented a flat unit for her. The extra care means that there are carers on site to help if needed (costs extra) and a cooked meal is served every day to all residents as part of the cost. DM had the opportunity to meet and socialise with other people or be on her own if preferred. She could come and go as she pleased and her flat was her own space. It was inexpensive to rent and could have been fantastic if DM had been of a mind to participate but that is down to the individual. It meant though that I knew she was warm and regularly fed and people were on hand if she fell etc.
Because we were the local link she was able to move without any problem at all. It just meant I had to add her to the waiting list and chase it regularly but the manager was very helpful.

Thank you for commenting, lots to think about

I wasn't thinking about you articulating why it would be a good thing, but your mum. If she says the same, great.

Look to see if there is an Abbeyfield near you. Semi independent living, normally a nice house where residents have own kitchenette facilities but also get a cooked lunch every day and have communal space. It is a charitable foundation so very good value and a caring environment.