Hi, just looking for some advise really. My grandmother is nearly 100, very proud and independent, still lives in her own house, does her own housework, cooks her own meals, does a bit of light gardening and gets out and about with my mum and so on. She is amazing! But she had a fall a few weeks ago that required stitches and and is quite shaken and feeling very sorry for herself, keeps saying that things have changed, if only she could turn back time etc. I saw her today and she was a bit off, very morose and seemed resigned although she would chat about other stuff too, but very quiet otherwise. My mum said that today was a good day, she said the other night she was rambling, quite confused about things and freaking out a little.
She had a similar set back some years ago as well, she fell ill on that occasion but was rambling a lot, confused, hallucinating etc - it turned out she was severely dehydrated after contracting norovirus and once that was sorted she started getting better but we were worried for a while. That happened when she was on holiday and she has refused to go away since then, only taking short day trips latterly and going into town.
My mum is freaking out about things a bit, my dad has cancer (currently between treatments and doing ok but who knows what the future holds) and I think the double whammy of having a sick husband and her very elderly mother having a setback with this fall is causing her a lot of stress but she is also overthinking things and feeling out of control.
Are there any resources for help that my mother could take for looking after DGM? I keep saying to her she's not a carer. Tonight she told me "I hope I can survive this". She was staying over at DGM's house for a week when this first happened, now DGM is brought to their house in the mornings and taken back home in the evening. I'm not sure that that is sensible tbh, she has a walking stick that she's using just now but her bedroom is upstairs and I worry that she will fall as she's a bit unsteady on her feet just now, her nerves are playing up. But I'm assuming that she goes to the toilet when my mum is there, before she goes to bed and therefore doesn't need to get up in the night. She had wanted to stay at my parents house but my mother is a hoarder and the two spare bedrooms are full of crap, you can't even get in the door now. So that is out of the question unfortunately.
I don't think my DGM would handle going into a home (also Covid concerns there) and I don't think she'd want someone caring for her at home either because she's so used to doing things for herself and I think it would make things worse for her where her self confidence is concerned. She usually doesn't think of herself as being old! but her body is starting to fail her. I also think my mum needs some help with things for her own wellbeing, because she seems to be very anxious (she's feeding DGM and helping her around but still running her own home too). I suggested mindfulness and maybe some kind of talking therapy, if she had someone to talk to who isn't involved it might help. But I wondered what else would be useful. We're in Scotland. Thanks for any advice.