Really struggling with disabled parent.

[Duchess379]

I don't actually know where to begin. I'm 45yrs old, an only child & am the sole carer for my mum, who, in 2017 suffered several strokes which culminated in heart failure & she needed a triple heart bypass. Whilst recovering, she got a blood clot on her lung. Since that time, her mobility has got so bad, she is constantly falling over, causing her more injuries.

She was hospitalised last month because she was complaining of chest pains. She ended up in hospital for 4 days. Dr's noticed her mobility was bad & arranged physio & zimmer frames to help her move about. When she got home, we had nurses come around for 10 days to help her wash etc & she was supposed to have a physio attend. He came once & said he's going to his sister wedding in India for 3 weeks so someone else would fill in. No-one has come back.

Now mum's mobility is non existent. She is literally dragging her right leg. And then her knees buckle & she drops like a sack of potatoes. She isn't a small person & I struggle to get her back up again. In the past 2 weeks she's crashed into a TV & mirror wardrobes, smashing them to smithereens. She falls over every day somewhere in the house, in her bedroom, the bathroom, the landing. She's covered in bruises & is such a dead weight, it's impossible to help her. If I try pulling her arms, she screams like a little girl & cries that I'm hurting her. I nearly had to call for an ambulance a few nights ago because I couldn't figure out how to get her back up.

When we finally have her on her feet, she can shuffle towards the sofa or her bed. Then we eventually get her on the bed & I think she's settled, she wants to get back up for the toilet. It takes her so long to get back up that sometimes she doesn't make it & wets her clothes. So now I have to strip her & get clean clothes. I get her back in bed again & 20 mins later I can hear her clonking about with her Zimmer frame, then 'thump', she's fallen over. Because she wants her hairbrush. Or her massage wand. Or something else. She's not comfy. Pillows are too hard. Bed is uncomfortable. It goes on & on. I literally don't have any time to myself.

And it's almost like she doesn't want to try. She gets close to the bed/sofa & just collapses.

I'm just finding it all so hard & was wondering if anyone else out there in the same situation?

Hope you are ok op. I'm in a similar situation. I tried to get my dad I'm hospital Monday night, the ambulance came out but wouldn't take him. He kept soiling himself. My brother lives with him and he's on his knees with it all. He left my dad in bed yesterday and went to work. I phoned the district nurse. I realize it's not their job but I didn't know what else to do. One came out and called an ambulance. Maybe they listened to her more than me. He's been in hospital since yesterday afternoon and I've told my brother we both need to be firm and say we can't cope. We need things in place. His house is no longer suitable.

@thecatsarecrazy

Hope you are ok op. I'm in a similar situation. I tried to get my dad I'm hospital Monday night, the ambulance came out but wouldn't take him. He kept soiling himself. My brother lives with him and he's on his knees with it all. He left my dad in bed yesterday and went to work. I phoned the district nurse. I realize it's not their job but I didn't know what else to do. One came out and called an ambulance. Maybe they listened to her more than me. He's been in hospital since yesterday afternoon and I've told my brother we both need to be firm and say we can't cope. We need things in place. His house is no longer suitable.

Oh god, I feel you! It's a terrible situation. My mum has been in hospital since Monday. She's confused, forgetting basic things (like her phone pin) and just appears to be vacant all the time. Dr's trying to figure out what's going on. I'm lucky to be in a position to move - I'm in the process of buying a bungalow which will help massively. Before I went to see mum yesterday, I typed a letter to the Dr at the hospital, giving a full explanation of what is going on with her, reiterating that I can't cope with her like this. It's well worth doing so it's on record. Best of luck 🤞🏻

I'm going to see dad later. I'm not looking forward to it tbh. I don't know how he's going to be, he won't be happy that he's not at home but at least I know he's getting fed and watered there. It took me 24 hours to get hold of anyone to ask how he was, or what was happening. They understand that he's no longer safe at home but I don't know what the plan is next.