In limbo

[Solasum]

My 88 year old father was admitted to hospital unconscious earlier today. They let us see him for 10 minutes, but then we had to leave because of Covid restrictions, and tomorrow only one visitor is allowed for one hour. How is this still acceptable???? It was AWFUL leaving him alone

I can't imagine the stress of leaving him there. Have you spoken to the Hospital? Is he awake yet?

We got through to the switchboard but though they have tried loads of numbers no one picked up. I felt so sorry for the nurses having to implement such a brutal policy.

It makes no sense. In our local hospital each ward sets its own rules - when mum first went in she had to have the same visitor every time then she changed wards and she was allowed one visitor a day for 45 minutes as long as they prebooked.

Now she is in a different hospital with one 30 min visit on the ward every week from the same person with another two visits outdoors again they have to be the same people but we can't swap between us. I am the only one allowed on the ward.

It is heartbreaking to be unable to visit like that. When my dad was very ill the whole hospital closed because of norovirus and we were unable to visit at all. We were supposed to be able to phone but it would take ages to get through and then we would be told nothing more than "he has eaten" or "he hasn't eaten". Nothing prepares you for the pain of not being able to be there when your loved one is so ill.

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere. I am so sorry that you all went through that.

Not sure what to do. Hospital didn’t call in the night so presumably he is still alive. I don’t want to leave my mum but my family is hours away, and if I can’t be with my dad I really need to be at home.

When I worked on the wards we didn’t ring in the night to notify of deaths, we did it at 7am.
Try ringing again this morning, and if you don’t get through ask the switchboard for the Pals number so you can complain. Hopefully they will get you the information you need.
It really is disgusting that you don’t know what’s going on.

We got through to a nurse today and he is alive, and has woken up but is apparently very confused . And being kept in over the weekend in a closed ward so cannot be visited at all. Which isn’t great. We aren’t really sure what is going on.

We got through to a nurse today and he is alive, and has woken up but is apparently very confused . And being kept in over the weekend in a closed ward so cannot be visited at all. Which isn’t great. We aren’t really sure what is going on.

Have they said why the ward is closed?

Are they able to facilitate a telephone call at least?

What tests are they doing ?
Something as simple as a urine infection can make them very confused.

We are not sure what tests have been done, and still isn’t clear to us what the actual problem was, as we have had only minimal contact with the nursing team, BUT he seems much improved, and has been moved yet again onto a ward where my mum can visit tomorrow. What a roller coaster. Hopefully not too many other people are experiencing this. Thank you for all your support

I felt so sorry for the nurses having to implement such a brutal policy.

Sorry to sound cynical but don’t waste your sympathy. You need to be very strong and stand up for what you need as a family.

Sorry you are going through this. My 91 year old mother was in hospital last week and no visiting allowed then put in a single room as possible Covid contact.
I rang the ward each day and asked for an update on tests done, results reported, etc
Luckily she is home now

I think it is about time hospitals stopped this bollocks and came up with some sensible and more humane policies.

My Dad was in hospital earlier this year. He was in two different hospitals for about a month in total and we couldn't visit him at all.

It meant that we didn't get to say goodbye to him. We only got to see him after he had died although I don't think that had been the intention (they had called to suggest we went in, but it was already too late). Things were just happening very fast at that point.

Or maybe I am being too lenient there. I do have some resentment about the no visiting policies as he didn't even have Covid.

Sorry, I hit send too soon. I wish you and your Dad all the best. I know how difficult this is, and as for getting proper information out of hospitals!! Well, we really did have to work hard at that. The left hand rarely knew what the right hand was doing and getting into Fort Knocks would have been easier.

@Topseyt I'm sorry for your loss, that sound really hard.

We've had similar issues for the last two weeks. MIL was admitted after a fall down the stairs.

The communication from A&E was good, but form the wards it's been diabolically bad. They called her home phone for the first few days - then got cross when we rang in having not heard anything. This despite being repeatedly told they had a wrong number.

Then they just stopped communicating at all. Couldn't get through on the phone half the time, no visitors allowed at all. When we did get through, all 'oh, someone will call you back' - and never doing so.

They've also been shit at looking after her, frankly. Elderly lady who can't speak and is paralysed post stroke. She can move her left arm a bit. They left her with a jug of water and a cup she can't used, and food she can't eat by herself for days, so she's become dehydrated to the point she's developed renal issues (the doctor admitted the cause of these was dehydration) and then run so much fluid into her that it's backed up into her lungs.

We've been told none of this at the time - and only when adult care got involved did it all come to light.

I appreciate why they don't want visitors, but then they've got to actually cover basic needs, pay attention and communicate. And frankly, they've had 18 months now of all this to sort it out. It's just not good enough.