Hand hold, MIL in crisis

[PhoboPhobia]

Not sure what I want from a thread but I’m just at a loss.

MIL is 92 and has osteoporosis. She lives independently with morning carers. We do her shopping, medication etc.

She has deteriorated massively in the last 2 days. She called at 8 last night to say she hadn’t eaten all day. We arrived to find her bent double in the chair. She can barely hold herself up and now has pain in both hips. She can’t stand or walk. I’m waiting for a 999 clinician to call back.

I stayed last night but she slept through. Woke up to a wet bed. Carer came in this morning and we have got her into some pads and in a chair and now she is fast asleep again.

It’s so depressing. I honestly wonder what is the point of living like this. She’s so worn down. She hasn’t left the house in months. Most of her friends have died.

I am not religious but I have to admit that, in the night, I asked the universe to take her somewhere where she could be healthy and comfortable and not wallowing in misery waiting to die.

Sorry if that’s harsh and awful. I love her to bits and hate seeing her like this.

Hand hold from me. Having been in a similar position with my MIL, I understand your thinking. In the nicest possible way, it sounds like it may be time.

Hand hold from me too. It is terribly tough for many very old people and for their loved ones.

It's not a harsh request. My MIL is bedbound in a care home. Now in her late 90s, she's been there for over 7 years. Virtually no responses to us or the staff. Not much of a life.

It sounds incredibly gentle, not harsh.

Do you want her to go to hospital? It may be that she could be more comfortable there but if there's any way for her symptoms to be managed at home, would she/you want to avoid her being admitted? Pain relief and care at home perhaps?

I am not religious but I have to admit that, in the night, I asked the universe to take her somewhere where she could be healthy and comfortable and not wallowing in misery waiting to die.

I think that's a very normal response when someone you love is suffering like this 

How is she this evening @PhoboPhobia?

Hi all. Thanks for your lovely messages. She did end up in hospital but just for one night and she has sprung back like nothing happened! They have no idea what happen d as all tests were inconclusive. I guess that’s what being 92 is like sometimes.

We are going in twice a day until her care package can be increased but BIL and SIL coming next weekend to take over for a while and also to talk about Care Homes. (They live 3 hours away).