I think this is pretty good care

[MereDintofPandiculation]

My dad gets it into his head that carers won't let him do things, eg that they tell him to go back to bed if he wants to walk around (one may have done once in particular circumstances but then he thinks they're going to tell him off every time). So the manager has printed and laminated a sheet for him which says "Manager says that you, Dint's Dad, can walk around whenever you want to. It's important for you to walk because... Manager says that you can xxx ... it's important that you do because ..."

He's shown it to every carer he's met since and made sure that they've read it

He used to refuse to have a shower because he was worried about them handling him awkwardly and hurting his back. But the manager has helped him draw up a "contract" about how he is to be helped with a shower, and he is now happily having a shower, with the carers signing the contract each time before they start to help him.

There's lots of other examples of this sort of thing, and it makes him a lot happier.

Do other care homes do this sort of thing? I think it's pretty great, but I may just have low expectations.

That's lovely, and exactly how care should be.

That's fantastic. It sounds as though they really understand how he works, and are completely empathetic.

In my mum's care home I didn't see anything remotely like that. It was all practical and without any real warmth. My MIL's place is wonderful. The staff really love their charges and have all been there forever. But my MIL's dementia is so advanced that I wouldn't see this sort of thing happening, if they do it. They are extremely thoughtful in other ways with her.

But yes, you should feel very fortunate and confident in the care he's getting. That's lovely.

I don't have any experience (yet) of care homes but this sounds really good to me. They have listened to him and have addressed his concerns, treated him as an individual and are actively looking to make him happier, it sounds very caring. I suppose different approaches work for different residents and its great that they have taken the time to think this through and put it into practice.

It’s reasonable. All careers should understand his right to walk around unrestricted, without needing a sign to tell them.
The way he is assisted should be part of his care plan. There shouldn’t be a need for additional instructions.
If showering has caused pain there should be a review of his analgesia timing.

If it’s about reassurance for your father, fine. If it’s about informing care staff, less fine.

@LemonRoses

It’s reasonable. All careers should understand his right to walk around unrestricted, without needing a sign to tell them. The way he is assisted should be part of his care plan. There shouldn’t be a need for additional instructions. If showering has caused pain there should be a review of his analgesia timing.

If it’s about reassurance for your father, fine. If it’s about informing care staff, less fine.

This is my take as well tbh. Great that the manager is addressing things that are raised, but realistically you have given examples of basic care needs which the manager should be ensuring are implemented anyway.

I think OPs point is that staff have found a way to work with her DFs anxieties/misconceptions- rather than challenging them, which would be 'don't be silly Mr X, OF COURSE we would never send you back to bed'
they are working with his world view, where staff need instructing eg how to help him shower.
It sounds to me like a creative solution.

I didn't make myself clear - these are things in his head so it's not to change the way things are done (I have seen his care plan), but to reassure him. Another example was his bedside light - he was having difficulty switching it on, so they got him one that turns on just by touching it. But he could feel the current and was convinced it was unearthed and dangerous, and wanted it "condemned", but was persuaded to use it once she took it away for (another) PAT test and returned it with a sticker on it documenting the testing.

If showering has caused pain there should be a review of his analgesia timing. It hasn't caused pain, nor has he ever requested analgesia or given any indication that it may be necessary. He hasn't consented to a shower till the "contract" was in place.

Sorry I misunderstood

@StillWeRise

I think OPs point is that staff have found a way to work with her DFs anxieties/misconceptions- rather than challenging them, which would be 'don't be silly Mr X, OF COURSE we would never send you back to bed' they are working with his world view, where staff need instructing eg how to help him shower. It sounds to me like a creative solution.

Yes, that's exactly it, said much better than I did.

I like this approach as it’s hopefully going to make him feel empowered and also secure. It’s an intelligent way to deal with what could potentially be high conflict situation.

@Snoringturtle

I like this approach as it’s hopefully going to make him feel empowered and also secure. It’s an intelligent way to deal with what could potentially be high conflict situation.

Exactly. Pretty much everything should be about managing anxiety.

In too many places the approach is 'don't be silly or 'of course we won't hurt you'. Which is not seeing the world through his eyes at all, and treats him as a child.

This way is clever, empathetic, and respectful. And as a bonus it makes the carers' lives easier, ultimately.

This is a great example of person centred care. The manager has given your Dad control over certain aspects of his life which many people receiving care can often feel they don't have. By respecting what is important to your Dad they have achieved a position where he is happy to receive care and the carers have clear guidance on how that care should be delivered.

As a healthcare professional I know that what the manager has done is unusual, I wish I could say it was commonplace.

It sounds like your Dad is receiving exceptional care that is meeting his individual needs

Where's this place because I'd love to work there!

Proper person centred care, quite often the anxiety of going into care and needing help with things that people have spent 60/70/80 years managing to do themselves, in a certain way, presents as things like this, refusal to accept care or seemingly overreacting to a situation (like being asked to go back to bed in a particular circumstance, once but then thinking everyone will say the same forever more) when working with someone, involving them and consideration will achieve better results and need less intervention long term.
Fantastic that the care manager is thinking like this and that they can facilitate these things, as others have said too many times it doesn't happen for a variety of reasons, but to me this should be the gold standard.

That sounds like wonderful care. It’s brilliant that they are validating his feelings rather than sweeping them aside because they might not seem rational.

Also, they have managed to reassure him and change his mind without making him feel out of his comfort zone at all. Is there any way you can formally compliment them at all?

So lovely to read how the manager and staff are stepping into your df’s world dint and responding to him so well.
Have seen care in several homes- none would match that although some was good.

That’s really good that the manager has listened to your dad and come up with a way that works to reassure and reiterate to the carer how things need to be for him.