Dad, 94 hated care home, denies needing 24 hour care

[SausageCrush]

My Dad's kidneys are failing (currently operating at 10%) along with several other serious medical problems. He is very frail, but still okay from the neck up (his description).
He's in an assisted flat and has carers going in 4 times a day.
A couple of weeks ago 2 of the carers were off so he agreed to go into a care home for respite for two weeks. He hated it and insisted he came home after a week and so I juggled his remaining carers to do his visits.
24 hours later he's in hospital. Initially a blocked catheter, but now a suspected blood clot on the leg. He's going to be out in a day or two.
All the carers and family agree that he really needs 24 hour care, but he disagrees - even though he fell out of bed trying to get to the loo recently, couldn't contact anyone and spent the night lying on the floor in his own waste.
Should I go against his wishes and tell the hospital that his care at home is insufficient? I worry he will hate me if I do, even though I have his best interests at heart.
Please tell me your thoughts as I'm so worried about him.

Sorry Op. Not an easy one.
Maybe you can have a very frank discussion with him. Ask him directly if he would prefer an undignified and haphazard last few weeks involving maybe more time one the floor and dying on the floor unattended as his kidneys are on their last legs or a smoother and more peaceful time with a bit more fun and laughter as his body packs up? Tell him the managed version is kinder for you. If he still says he wants it his way I don’t think you can refuse.

If he's got mental capacity then it's not really up to you whether he goes into a home or not.
I would leave that up to the hospital staff and social worker to try to persuade him into 24hr care, if that's what they feel is best.
If he really is insistent about going home then look into your local council and see if they provide a piper-line. There's usually a small fee but he can wear a pendant and if he falls they will send a team out to help him up and get him more help if needed.
I know this is not easy and I wish you and your dad all the best.

Does he have funds to get more support at home?

My 90 year old uncle lived alone and had bladder cancer which we were told didn't need any treatment.
He also was becoming very frail but refused point blank to having any help other than me .
The lady opposite rang me at 9 o'clock one morning worried because his curtains weren't open . I told her I was on my way and for her to use her key to check on him . He had been on the bathroom floor all night and couldn't get up or call for help . I had been begging for months for me to get Lifeline installed so that he could get help . Anyway he then agreed to have it and used it on several occasions when needed help . He wore a button on his wrist which would link to lifeline via the telephone and they would ring me . It was not just for falls , one time his catheter was blocked at 2am and I had to call the district nurse out.
I would advise you to get this if you family member insists on going home cos at least he can get help when he needs it . The other thing would be speak to an occupational therapist if you can . She can assess his home and provide any equipment she thinks he needs ie commodes , shower chairs etc.
If he needs a hospital bed or an air mattress at home the district nurse will sort this for you .
Take care x

If he has capacity to make the choice then it won't be your decision anyway. Make sure he gets a social care assessment before he leaves hospital to make sure he has the support he needs.