Emptying house after care home move

[Thislabelledlife]

After a long stay in hospital my mum is moving to a care home shortly and I will have the mammoth task of emptying her flat.
She’s never thrown anything out over the years and has been a heavy smoker and everything is absolutely rancid with smoke so I don’t see any option but to throw it all out.
I just feel so guilty at throwing everything in the bin but can’t think what else to do . She has some beautiful stuff

Do it in stages go round first and ditch anything which obviously rubbish , no use or value .
Pick out anything that you defiantly want to keep and work through the rest .

I agree. go rapidly through what you want, then call the houseclearers. she's had her use out of the stuff.

Elbow grease spray is good for removing tobacco stains from anything that can be salvaged/ sentimental.

We had to do the same thing for my nan. It took a few weeks but 4 of us shared the load and chipped in. Take it one area at a time and it won't feel as daunting.

Honestly, just chuck it. Unless things are what you really want to keep in financial or sentimental value, then its worth the time and effort. Think if you want it in your home permanently, and if not, it goes in the skip

Could you afford one of those house clearance companies?

I took any nice bits to the charity shop ( you could wash things ) and everything else to the tip , or get a house clearance in .

Thanks everyone for their really good advice.
I’ll give what I can to charity

I know Chuck it is the best idea it’s just more the emotional side of it just disposing all my mums things, but that’s a good way to look at it that she’s had her use out of it

Don't forget you can take a few bits for your mum at the care home such as her most loved ornaments or perhaps put her photos into frames for her.

Does your mum know what's happening - if so be gentle with her, my mum was understandably very upset when it came to emptying and selling her house after she went into care. Of course she has some of her things with her (photos and ornaments as suggested above), but I also have a lot in my attic that she particularly couldn't bear to part with straightaway (although not nearly as much as she thinks I have!)

Dont put useable things into landfill. I always think that's wrong when theres so much waste and poverty in the world.

I did a house clearance a fee years back. Anything I didnt want or couldn't easily be taken to a charity shop, I put in a big pile, took a photo, stuck it on ebay as a car boot job lot.

Someone came and took away a load of perfectly sellable bric a brac and I got £50. Win win.

Am dreading the day this happens but at least there are three of us to share the load.

Father in law has been pointing things out that he wants kept in the family when he goes. No one wants anything. People may keep a few small tokens but who wants dinner services etc. Have told my daughter to get rid of the lot when I go and have pointed out a few things she may want to check the value on first. Would rather her have a holiday with whatever she gets for it

Get skip. Put stuff in. Get on with your life.

The job can take a weekend or a year. Your choice.

It is not your fault so don’t take on the burden.

Emmaus - charity for the homeless - do house clearance. They are very experienced at spotting what can be sold, and some are trained at refurbing items.

Please don't take unsaleable/smoke stained items to charity shops, I know it's difficult but I manage a charity shop and the amount of stuff we are given which we then have to take to the tip is heartbreaking - and costs the charity money.

Far better to use a house clearance company, they will know what to do with things.

Thanks once again for your advice.
Definitely won’t take the smoke stained stuff to the charity shop. I’m thinking of going with a house clearance company. Was up tonight and didn’t feel as bad or such a big task

I've unfortunately needed to clear out more than 1 house. I ended up boxing it all, took it to our home and sorted it as I was able mentally. It meant I could wash things before I moved them on to the charity shops / organisations. It is very difficult.

Go through your mums house and save the important, expensive and precious stuff- jewellery, sentimental items and documents , think about 3 boxes worth. That you can keep photo albums picture etc some of which she may like to have with her in care home. Anything she wants to pass onto relatives - I'd be asking relatives after I'd been in to take what was useful or important to them. It's worth v little to others. (I did this first my late sister who went into hospice young and then died)

Then pay for a clearance company. You won't regret letting someone else clear the tatt as it's hard enough when someone you love goes into a care home without having to empty all their house too.

Unless you want to sell her old furniture yourself which sounds like it might be smoke stained etc, I'd just get rid in easier ways via clearance company , if acting on her behalf

@Thislabelledlife

Thanks once again for your advice. Definitely won’t take the smoke stained stuff to the charity shop. I’m thinking of going with a house clearance company. Was up tonight and didn’t feel as bad or such a big task

Your gut feeling is right.

A clearance company will try to recycle what they can and will have contacts but most they will dispose of it. All recycle dump sites have recycle element to them

I think you'll need to use a company that is a licensed waste carrier. There's a useful youtube from the Environment Agency about your responsibilities.

Depending where your Mums flat is it might be possible to get rid of a lot of stuff just by putting it out at the roadside.

I was left the contents of my grans house in her will, back in the 1970s. The heirs (my aunts) were keen to get the house on the market so I had to organize a house clearance. I roped in two cousins to help - one had a HGV lisence - and we hired a self storage unit. Much of the furniture was antique and valuable so I get someone in from Christies to look at that and it was subsequently transported to their Chester branch. Some of the smaller furniture I wanted to keep so that and anything which I saw as having any value we put into the self storage, along with photos, documents and jewelry etc. We got in a house clearance firm to remove the tat.

It was bloody hard work and I had to take a weeks leave off work to do it. However the furniture at auction sold very well. The smaller stuff I sold at weekend antiques fairs.

Its fair to add that I already had knowledge/experience of the antiques trade in order to recognize what was valuable.

Fortunately my nan was a non smoker and a very methodical woman.