Splitting elderly parents money-Dad in care home

[Genderwitched]

I am wondering if anybody can help me with this as I have tried and failed to find the answer online. My father 95, has had dementia for a number of years and has been looked after by my Mother 88 for that time. Mum had a fall and was diagnosed with a mental breakdown a couple of years ago and is now unable to look after him. He is now in a care home.

My sister and I have LPoA over both of them and I am in the process of getting the finances straight.

My question is this. They have two joint accounts which all pensions and attendance allowances go into. My mother also has an account on her own with private money. Dad also has various bonds, shares and savings accounts all in his name. These bonds etc are the largest proportion of the money. How do I split this money so that when the money runs down to the threshold on Dads half, Mums half is safe. She needs carers now and could well need a home at some point so I am very keen to preserve as much money for her use as possible.

Should we put half of the joint account money in her account right away, and transfer her pension to that account?

What do we do with the bonds and shares in Dads name, can we cash them in and put half in her account or would that be seen as deprivation of his assets.

Also, this situation has been going on for a while, so can I take the money already paid to Dads care home into account when splitting the money.

We joke that she should get divorced as it would be easier, but I would really appreciate some advice. sorry for the lengthy post.

We didn’t have this problem (thankfully). But as far as I know, everything is split 50:50. Half your mums and half your dads. If that is still the case I would change them to his and hers accounts.
I would approach age uk or Alzheimer’s uk for up to date advice though. We did in love a financial advisor who specialised in elderly and care situations, it was well worth doing so as he managed to somehow make the income from savings etc equal outgoings, even when mil went into a home. He also helped sort out showing various financial institutions the poa (Scottish widows etc) and has been very helpful in closing everything now mil has passed. Saved so much hassle and time.
Fingers crossed someone with more knowledge will be along for you.

You were allowed to charge the partner in the care home a proportion of the maintenance costs of the home the remaining partner lives in. May be worth seeing if this is still the case.

@Bargebill19

Thank you, yes I think a financial advisor may well be the answer, it may just be too complicated for me to sort out properly. and it would probably save money in the long run.

@Bargebill19 I didn't know that, thanks for the information, it's certainly worth looking in to.

Good luck (for the journey ahead) and I hope you find the information you are looking for soon.

All shared you can split. Keep records of this.

All in separate names have to remain that way and only count towards the total of that person.

@sagegreentree

thank you. Do you know if I can split the joint accounts at the total they were at three months ago when they started paying Dads bills out of the joint account?

I would do this as long as you can evidence the spend on the care.

My place of work would be fine with that. Not sure about other councils though. It won't hurt and it won't be seen as deprivation.

I think you need a financial adviser. Presumably anything in his name that was transferred to her would eventually go to her care, rather than a round the world cruise, and it doesn’t seem right that one partner should access all the extras thar having your own money can supply, and the other have nothing, simply because of the way they arranged their marital savings. But you need professional advice to sort this

There is a disregard of 50% of your dad's pension if your mum is still at home, basically he can choose to pay her half of his pensions (or you can do that for him with LPA) and that will be disregarded as his income from the assessment. If she receives any income related benefits she may lose more than she gains but otherwise it's another income stream for her going forward. It's item 5 on the following:

www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-ni/documents/factsheets/fs39_paying_for_care_in_a_care_home_if_you_have_a_partner_fcs.pdf

Personally I'd split the joint accounts, I'd do it as if it were done at the date he went into care and I'd keep very detailed workings. All his income and expenditure goes one way, hers another. I think you are stuck with the bonds though, they are in his sole name and if you sell them it's his sole income.

Thank you all for your advice.

I think we will have to go down the financial advisor route, I expect opposition from Mum based on the expenditure but sometimes only a professional knows the best way to proceed. It will take me quite a time to even find all his bonds and savings to present to an advisor, let alone decide what to do with them. He was very secretive with money, and Mum was never interested. But I can make a good start with splitting everything joint as soon as possible.

@Knotaknitter useful fact sheet, thank you.

They way I did it, when my dad passed away - and he was secretive and chaotic with paperwork despite being an accountant!

I threw all the paperwork I could find into a heap on the floor and sat down and just went through sheet by sheet matching it up, first with account names eg xyz bond/account, then divided those piles via account numbers, then those piles tidied into date order, and then into individual box files.
The financial advisor then went through each one with me and we acted on his advice for each one. I took notes of what we agreed and stuck inside the lid of each box file, so I knew exactly what was decided, course of action, how that had been executed and any updates thereafter.
Lots of tea and cake were consumed in the process. But worth it. Did the same after fil passed away.
A spreadsheet was set up for mil (I had poa) and everything I spent was documented - no matter how small an expenditure. Where it came from, money transfers everything. I was never asked to prove anything, but you never know.
IFA was worth every penny. You may find that age concern etc have an approved list you could start with. Please do make sure they are registered with the relevant authority.

@Bargebill19

"Which" seem to recommend SOLLA (Society of Later Life Advisors), so I'll start there. Mum will have to accept that it's just too complex for me to make the best job of it. I could probably make a go of it, but wouldn't know all the information that will ultimately save her money.

It's strange that someone would be so uninterested in their financial security that they are happy for someone else to just organise it for them but I suppose it was just the way they were in their marriage. A very traditional division of labour.

This has certainly been a wake up call for me and Dh, we intend to be much more organised. I always thought that my Dad was so sensible with money and cautious. I suppose that he thought he would just die and leave it all to Mum so it didn't need to be in her name.

Anyway, at least I have a direction to work in now, thanks to this thread.