I'm 38 & currently in a nursing home in the south west. I can tell you in my case my fees, funded by social care is £2200 a week (this includes 6 hours of one to one care daily). Next month I move back to a house, with care funded by social services, not continuing health where the NHS cover fees.
I was given two options, one, direct payments, where I'm responsible for finding staff & become an employer with all the responsibility. I'd have one carer live in 24hours a day, only providing care by day. Her two hour break would be covered by an another carer who would also provide waking night care. Cost, around £1900 a week. Option two, my preferred, is two carers each doing 12 hours, £2400, all organised by social care.
I didn't tell anyone about the domestic violence with my husband (that landed me here) for years for fear I'd be placed into a home like I have been. It's taken a fight, & three years but I almost there now! It's a case, usually I'm told of what's in the clients best interest & cost. The first care package they found came back home came in at £3000 a week & I got declined.
Sometimes, especially if needs will decline nursing is seen as best, but I find the whole confused residents trying to get in my room day & night, the screaming, crying, staff that speak such poor english (I cannot get my heating turned up by a few) so difficult.
I also know my age helped my case, as did me having to move two counties away for this placement, as finding a home to take someone my age without learning difficulties was impossible.
Don't give up, but see if you can cut any costs now without ruining quality of life too much.
I wish you & your family all the best with these difficult choices. K