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Elderly parents

Elderly aunt - what to do now?

7 replies

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 08/05/2021 11:42

First time poster and I'm sure this sort of question has been asked before but I'm new to this. I'm posting for my cousin (let's call her Rosie) who doesn't do Internet. I've had a quick look myself but the advice I can find doesn't tie up to the situation, or is just 'contact your local council'.

My elderly aunt has a son who lives with her (let's call him Jim) and who has gradually become her carer as she has become more infirm and her mobility issues have worsened. My aunt has consistently refused to move out of her house to live with Rosie. Jim has been unwell for some time and has, finally, been taken into hospital and is on the HDU. He has pre-existing health problems but nobody knows what it is this time.

Her daughter Rosie lives about half an hour's drive away and has helped out all along. She is now incredibly worried about two things:
How her mother can continue to manage at home (she has resisted moving over the years) without Jim there to care for her;
What will happen if Jim is released from hospital to go home to his mother, who will not be able to look after him.

Rosie asked the local GPs about all this when she finally managed to get them to see Jim in person, but just got 'blank looks'.

I think that as a family they have largely flown below the radar as everyone was coping and not bothering social services, and now that this has all blown up they are in need of help but don't know where to turn.

Can anybody advise me about who Rosie should approach and what sources of support or care are available to them? I'd be really grateful.

OP posts:
thesandwich · 08/05/2021 11:57

Contact your county council adult social care/ social services which should be on their website for an urgent referral.
At the hospital it s important that they understand his home situation- there should be a discharge coordinator who needs to understand the situation.

OwlTwitterings · 08/05/2021 12:00

I’d also call Age U.K. and get Rosie to ring the hospital Jim is at to explain his home situation.

Frankley · 08/05/2021 12:29

Have either , or both, claimed attendance allowance. It is not means tested. When an elderly man l know of went into hospital, the hospital must have notified social services before he was discharged. He had also been under the radar, wife coping. Some help was provided for a few weeks . Don't know how often it works like that. Do look at attendance allowance, though,

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 08/05/2021 12:36

Brilliant, thank you for your advice.

I'll phone Rosie now. She is quite stressed about all this!

OP posts:
GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 08/05/2021 13:03

@thesandwich
@OwlTwitterings
@Frankley
Many thanks again - Rosie is very grateful and now has a plan.

OP posts:
GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 08/05/2021 13:04

And I should have said, first time poster on this board - have been on MN years under various names.

OP posts:
thesandwich · 08/05/2021 13:51

You are welcome- there are lots of v knowledgeable helpful posters in this corner of mn….. and plenty of support and gin!

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