Restbite care in scotland

[Justarandomusername]

My mother has been put in restbite care for two weeks its being paid for by social work I had asked for one week she got taken into restbite today I asked if I could bring her home after a week to which I was told she had she had been booked in for two weeks like neither me or my mother had a say I just wondered where I stood on this

If she has capacity she can go home - it's respite not a prison?

It’s respite and your mum has a choice, if she has capacity to make decisions for herself? Maybe if you are needing a break from caring though, see how it goes and if she likes it?

it's respite, not restbite (sorry!)

In theory she should be able to go home if she chooses to- unless it's felt she doesn't have capacity and it is in her best interests to stay there, or if they have safeguarding concerns. If your mum does lack capacity, do you hold LPA for health/welfare?

But both of those things you'd likely be aware of. What is the purpose of the respite? I work in mental health rather than social work, but sometimes we will recommend respite due to the main carer nearing burnout. In those cases we would generally encourage they use the full 2wks as it's been put in place for a reason.

What is the purpose of the respite? Are they assessing her? Are you having issues with caring for her? Maybe they think two weeks is the best thing for both of you. Without more info it is hard to say.

She has COPD and has become more confused over the last few months this was to give me a break as well as give me chance to do things round the house but as always the person whose her son who lives with her and has cared for her has no say yet the so called professionals who were told she was hallucinating getting sggitated and getting confused put it down to COPD and meds for it why the hell should I have any faith in a system that hasn't been there for us and refused to help since January maybe if they helped a lot earlier I wouldn't be exhausted with her I'll decide what's best for her rather than some strangers that have done f all

I think they want 2 weeks to assess her properly, things move slowly.

You need this respite.

Moving her backwards and forwards will be more stressful and upsetting for her. It's probably best to agree to 2 weeks and then ask what long term care they are going to offer her.

It seems likely she has dementia so actually making them find her a nursing home that can adequately care for all her needs and going there ASAP is best for her. Short term stress and confusion but long term her needs met better.

So who cares for her, you or you brother? Which professionals arranged for the respite? Was the doctor involved? You seem very angry when this has been set up to help you. I understand you wanted help in January but the wheels of social card sometimes take a while to set in motion. You say she has deteriorated a lot recently so maybe she has now reached the threshold for support? Use the time to get chores done and get some rest. Try and work with the professionals to ensure your DM gets the care she needs.

How on Earth have you managed to access respite? I keep hearing that it’s impossible to get right now.

I been looking after her for 24 7 pleased for help since Jan yet I should be grateful to people who misdiagnosed her illness put it down to COPD and meds yet a nurse can clearly see it's dimentia after a couple of hrs and I should be grateful for the fact that now they get to decide what's best for her and it's now got f all to do with me go figure chimps could run the NHS and u guys would still shout GREAT JOB

So who cares for her, you or you brother? Which professionals arranged for the respite? Was the doctor involved? You seem very angry when this has been set up to help you. I understand you wanted help in January but the wheels of social card sometimes take a while to set in motion. You say she has deteriorated a lot recently so maybe she has now reached the threshold for support? Use the time to get chores done and get some rest. Try and work with the professionals to ensure your DM gets the care she needs.

Angry with reason they misdiagnosed her condition for 5 fuckin months completely ignored what I was telling them even though I was dealing with her on a daily basis yes they arranged 2 week restbite am I supposed to kiss they're arse wed get more help if she was a junkie don't tell me that's ok

You need to calm down and stop being so angry. We are just trying to help you. Health care professionals don't always get things right. It can take time to diagnose dementia abs I guess the COPD symptoms and meds might have been masking this. You have help now. Don't throw it away.

So you are her son and have been caring for her 24/7 for months, with uncontrolled COPD and possibly dementia?

I can understand that it must feel like they are taking all the credit for you slogging your guts out to meet your mum's needs, but it might be worth letting them give 2 weeks care, especially if there is an element of dementia. The switch of environment will be very unsettling, so it would be even harder if you switch back after just one week.

Frankly, I bet you're knackered. It's ok to have a few days to regroup and get things in order. Then you'll be fresh and ready to take care of her again.

Hi there, OP.
We're going to move this thread to the Elderly Parents section now.
Hope that's useful.

Do what u need to Kim

I’m sure you’ll be able to bring her home after a week if you are determined however, maybe see how the first week goes for her and take some time to recover yourself. Caring for someone like you have grinds you down slowly. If you are on top form you are better placed to have a sensible conversation with the medics and carers.

Its not a case of anyone else taking any credit its the fact that for 4 months I was left to care on my own for a parent with co PD for 4 months 24 7 I've had no life outside the house I could be up 5 or 6 times a night seeing to her as she often gets out of bed and falls I told both her go and social worker in January how bad things were it was shrugged off misdiagnosed and I was left to get on with it never having dealt with somebody like this before there was no help or support at all for all those sticking up for the NHS and social work saying its OK they've organised help now I hope you never go through that experience its all very well to act like its no big deal when your not the one living with it covid hasn't just had an impact on the NHS you know unlike NHS an staff and socials workers who do shifts and then manage to go home then have days off and holidays people who provide care for family or loved ones specially at this time have had those luxeries and as in PC as as it is it angers me seeing drug addicts get more help with they're self inflicted problems with they're extra benefits free methadone and bus passes than we've had so yeah I'm angry we've been let down by a system that's supposed to help and support not just ignore us and let us get on with it