Reporting elderly parent re driving

[Hamster555]

Where do I go first if I'm concerned my dad needs to stop driving?

Cant even get through to his dr or dvla atm to discuss

Has anyone managed to do this/what did you do??

Have you tried the DVLA web chat or email address? You could also send a letter.
There are mobility centres that will assess driving but you need a referral from a GP, so I’d carry on trying with the GP.

Lots of people take the car keys as a first course of action

This from AgeUK

Dvla webchat is rubbbish and the email is via a series of Q's asking me his driver number which I don't know! Have emailed the Gp! who'd have though it would be so hard he's almost 80 and a potential danger to others they don't make it easy!

We contacted DVLA re my grandfather who still felt he was okay to drive at 92!
Try sending them a letter and take his car keys for the time being.

You can work out the driver number. It’s mixed up names, date of birth, sex,etc. Just Google how to work it out.

Call 150 with his car registration and the times you know he is on the road and whereabouts.

Are you or someone with a different kind of relationship able to talk to him about it?

Have you noticed any dings, scrapes or kerbing on the car?

Would it be reasonable to observe him driving at a safe distance?

He will not be able to drive if you take the car keys away

With father-in-law we waited till he had to have an MOT then refused to take the car to get it done. He wasn't fit to deal with it on his own. Then we got the son that's a no nonsense plain speaker to talk to him as he wouldn't listen to anyone else. With my dad my brother did it. Explaining that he could take taxis wherever he wanted to go. That it was cheaper! Strangely enough my dad was a cantankerous aggressive old goat but he gave the car up with little problem. My father-in-law is more amenable but he changed his mind a few times but the rest of us not helping either with insurance or anything to do with the car meant it was going to sit illegally in the street. His car was scrapped, probably could have sold it for more but it was convenient and an old car that hadn't been driven in the last year so no one wanted to drive it. How bad is his driving? I would consider a letter to his GP outlining your concerns, or if it's his eyesight his optician for an appt to check his vision. I know an uncle of mine didn't go near a doctor for years in case he was told not to drive. Best of luck

We took the keys! Age isn't the determining factor, is he safe driving? If it's urgent take the keys, if you are just concerned email

He's had heart failure & hasn't told me he's had an episode again with his HF, cars got loads of bumps/ scrapes on it, but the issue re taking the keys is he lives 20 miles away, I have no access to do anything for him like food shops and no on e else to help me with that, his neighbour is really busy - doesn't want to be involved, so hard! Have written to his gp. I'm a low earner worry is if I take the keys he can't access food shopping. I could get deliveries for him but he will only use a cash machine to pay me back! I don't get time to see him that often, I had set him online banking up be he refuses to use it, abs nightmare situation. 🤦‍♀️😫 his neighbours very concerned re his driving as am I, she feels he's struggling alpine and I agree so have expressed all to gp it's take it's looked in to, he might be best having carers in the sort his shopping then we can get rid of the car!! Luckily he goes nowhere else only Morrison's and the cash machine

Would he allow you to get his card details and pay directly to the supermarket for online groceries using his card? That way he wouldn't have to pay you back. A quick picture front and back of his card and he will see the amounts on his statement..

You can anonymously report on the DVLA website. I reported FIL and he had to take a test, which he failed, and lost his licence. Huge sigh of relief all round. Nobody in the family knows it was me - PIL both think it was his GP.

Heart Failure has to be notified to the DVAL. Not doing this and carrying on driving may mean he is uninsured and makes him liable for a £1000 fine from the DVLA anyway.

It is better you sort out the shopping issue than he injures or kills someone with his driving.

If you set up online banking for him can you access his account to pay yourself back for the shopping? Or as Doodle says above?

I reported anonymously on the dvla website, there is a form you fill in and submit. My dad had advanced dementia and heart failure but my mom wouldnt tell the dvla as " he enjoys it" despite not even being able to remember his surname or dob. Dvla acted within a week he had a letter to say licence revoked unless evidence provided he was fit to drive. To this day my mom believes the dr's informed the dvla and for the sake of our relationship i will never tell her it was me. I have life changing injuries from someone who hadn't declared an impairment that meant they weren't fit to drive and i could not allow that to happen to someone else or a child.

www.gov.uk/report-driving-medical-condition

@doodleZ1 Nope he's really funny! He just wants to be independent i get that but maybe one day soon he'll let me do this as I can do his shop and then ditch the car!! X x

I reported my mum. Her sight was going and she was still driving. Took about two weeks

@CakeWarrior I'll be looking for that form later on! I'm so sorry this happened to you too! Thank you for your reply x x x

Thank you all so much! So helpful 🙏🙏🙏

Great link Cake and an enormous list of medical conditions that will stop someone being on the road. Very useful

Your welcome @Hamster555 hope your okay, its a horrible feeling when you do it but we are here for you x

One thing that may work.
Sit down and work out with him how much he spends on the car per week.
Include everything, insurance, repairs, MOT, tax, petrol, and money aside for a replacement car, etc etc.

Then work out how much that is per week.

Then work out how many taxis he can take within his town for that money.
So, taxi to supermarket £5, taxi home £5 is still less than the cost of the car.

Also, found out today, Morrisons do this service where you can phone up and tell them what you want instead of doing it online. So my friend's mum phones up, has a chat to the person on the phone, reads out her shopping list, and they convert it to an online order and it gets delivered. No online shopping necessary.

Practically, is he close enough to use amobility scooter instead? That woudl keep him independant.

missed your bit about the cash. But if you set up an account at Morrisons with his card?