Defer fees or sell dilemma

[DorsetCamping]

Apologies if this thread is incoherent, am running out of time to make a decision and would really welcome thoughts/advice on my situation.

DM went into a nursing home Xmas 2020. She received 6 weeks 'covid funding' as had been discharged from hospital, then 12 weeks disregard.
This has just ended and Her fees are approx £1500 per week (!!!) less about £150 funded nursing care.

She has no savings but owns a 2 bed bungalow which is being sold for £245k. We have a buyer and completion looking likely for mid May.

However, DB split from his wife back end of last year and has been staying with us until he divorces and a settlement can be agreed.

So I am thinking that actually we should pull out of the sale and DB move into the bungalow.

He could take on the bills and pay a nominal rent, although it wouldn't go anywhere near covering the NH fees.

I'm just not sure what the right decision is. One hand he needs a home and we have a house available, in the other hand am I just making things horribly complicated? Should we just let the sale go through? Are we just kicking the can down the round as the place will have to be sold at some point?

Although I have made an application for PoA, the solicitor has advised it could take months to go through. This means that I wouldn't be able to touch the proceeds or move to to a higher interest saving account, and her investment would deplete.

DM is 74, so still quite young. She has numerous physical and mental (suspected dementia) conditions but could well live for at least another 10 years.

How will you pay the fees if you don't sell her house?

Deferred payment scheme with the council

Do the sums with the interest rate charged from the council. I suggest db needs to be paying market rate rent.
Age uk may be able to advise.

Even if you had PoA any financial dealings would have to be done to her benefit. You might struggle to explain how letting the bungalow at a subsidised rent benefited her, especially as she has no history of supporting DB to this extent.

Letting it at full market rent would be a different matter, as this would clearly be benefiting her.

If she's fully self-funding, is she receiving Attendance Allowance? - it's not a lot of money but it would pay a small fraction of nursing home bills.

What other income does she have that could go towards her fees? Pension?

That's really expensive.
Have you looked at other care homes? Is this one your preferred place for your Mum?
My MIL was placed in one care home for emergency care (only place with availability at short notice) which was £800 a week. It was awful. She's now somewhere else that is much nicer and considerably cheaper. Whilst to a large extent you do get what you pay for with care homes, it might be worth you checking if you haven't done already.

Where I am in the South East for someone with a lot of care needs £1500 would be pretty average - fees do vary a lot. The council will probably let you defer around £200k, which will only last 2-3 years. I don't know what would happen at that point.

Also you'd have to charge DB the going rent for the property (must act in Mum's best interests, not his) so is there any benefit to him?

More info here:

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/deferred-payment-agreements-for-long-term-care#renting-out-your-home-if-you-enter-into-a-deferred-payment-agreement

Somebody needs to be the landlord, then you into all sorts of legal fun and games. Cardinal rule is never to rent to family or friends.

It sounds like a big headache. I'd never rent to family. It has future problems written all over it.

Thank you, this is exactly what I needed to know.

£1500 pw is absolutely average around here. It is shocking how expensive care is but it is what it is.

On paper it makes sense for DB to take on rental but the reality is clearly much more complicated and we have more than enough stress in our lives at the moment.

Think will let her house go