How often (pre COVID) did you eat with your parents?

[jamesfailedmarshmallows]

Must preempt this by saying that DP's are late 60s but I don't consider them elderly. Both active, and fairly well, both drive.

My issue is that we never meet up unless it is at my house for dinner. DM will never say to me to come to hers for a coffee even, and has complained about my step sibling calling in without advanced warning, so that makes me feel that I can't just pop in if I'm passing by
Recently my dc commented that we have never been for dinner at anyone's house, they always come to us and it made me feel a bit sad really. DM will say we really need to meet up, but what she really means is that I have to invite them, and when I say they are welcome anytime (we are very open door policy) they will say OK, we'll come at dinner time.
I don't think this expectation is an age thing, apart from the fact they aren't infirm or anything a lot of my friends still go for Sunday dinners or at least once a month to their parents. I suppose I'm just asking if you still get invited to your parents house for dinner and how often?

My mother is 100 and lives on her own. One of us is allowed to visit each day, she used to get multiple visits. There are three of us and we each have lunch with her on one day. On the other days carers make her lunch. She always hated cooking and entertaining. She has lived near us for 25 years and unless we took the food to her house we never ate there but when she was more mobile we would often feed her at our house.
My in laws lived 120 miles away and we used to take lunch with us when we went to visit them as well.
Does it matter if they don’t invite you for a meal?

My parents never- our house and cooking is better. Every few years we get invited at Christmas. My husband’s mum, doesn’t invite us but we’ve been there and she’s been here ( pre COVID) , usually it’s kind of a conversation and the same thing is said by one of us to initiate ( why don’t we come out your way, if cooking is a hassle we’ll go to x takeaway , then either side ends up cooking homemade most times) and then his dad and stepmom only really want us at there’s. Used to be there every second Friday.

Yep late 60s isn't elderly, a lot of people that age are still working. My parents are early 60s is the exact opposite and would rather have us go to theirs rather than they come to ours. Even during lock down my parents have offered take away Sunday lunch from theirs as pre covid we used to go about once a month on Sunday! 🤣Neither of us have a total open door policy as we both seem to ring ahead to pop over to each other's (my sister live in the same street and we don't just pop over unannounced) I dislike people popping in and like a bit of warning. My in laws like to just pop on their way to and from places (It always seems to be on a day when I'm in the middle of cleaning and have no bra on 🤣). However they never offer for us to go to their house and prefer if we meet somewhere neutral or come to our house for food. I think it depends on the individual.

mdh2020 on the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter, but as a child I have really fond memories of having dinner in extended family members houses and it struck me that my dc have never had it.

I think the crux of the matter is the very formal relationship that it has turned into with my dp's, and we never actually see them or my siblings unless I cook them all dinner at my house.

As a child, we used to go over to Nan's every Sunday and my mother and her sister would help with the cooking and washing up. But once Nan died, Grandad would come over to us for Sunday dinner. What I remember, but haven't replicated, was formal sit down teas with my parents' friends - by the time I was bringing up mine, the norm seemed to be that you got a baby sitter and meet-ups with friends were adult events.

A bit different for us as my mums dementia became apparent when ds was a baby, and in the bit when she could still cook, you wouldn't voluntarily eat it, so we always had to meet them somewhere, and in ds's memory that was one, rather manky pub.
But we've lived within 'sunday lunch inviting' range of dh's parents for 13 years, and we've never been invited for lunch, dinner or tea outside christmas and one bbq with the wider family.

I'm quite surprised by the replies as most of my friends regularly go to their dp's for dinner, they rarely host them. Maybe outside of my circle this isn't a thing then?
My MIL (no longer with us) was very welcoming and always had time and was very happy to see us. In her last 5 years she had limbs amputated so wasn't fit for cooking, but prior to that I felt very comfortable with her, could have popped in any time and she was a great host. That is 'normal' to DH so he thinks my family are very cold and formal. I really miss MIL 😢

Growing up, we never went anywhere on a Sunday. There were no rules, but to us, Sunday was a family day in with a roast every week. After leaving home I continued to go for Sunday lunch every week. My siblings lived further away and were married so they stopped. I married in my late 30’s and that’s when I stopped going.
I have always turned up at their house a number of times a week unannounced, let myself in with my key and helped myself to a cuppa and biscuits (and made one for them). Sometimes they were out but I’d still make a cuppa. It has always felt like my home and I have treated it as such. DH has been the same with his parents.
We were invited a few times for lunch but that didn’t last long as I could see that it was getting too much for Mum as by this time she was in her 70’s and her vision was deteriorating.
I cooked for them in my house just a few times as they were always more comfortable in their own house.
Dad died 6yrs ago and Mum cannot see to cook so I then started cooking for her in her own house twice a week until I realised that it was better for her socially to eat at a local cafe or garden centre. So we were eating out twice a week prior to Covid.