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Elderly parents

Care home Covid

11 replies

Persephonegoddess · 08/01/2021 19:32

My mum's care home has avoided Cv-19 until today and four staff have tested +ve. Don't really know why I am stressing but I just feel really worried, having worked closely with homes during the first wave and seeing the death toll, I have a really dark feeling.
They have put the residents in isolation but I am worried it's too late. Currently awaiting re-test results from today to hear she is -ve.

OP posts:
TVStanding · 08/01/2021 23:42

Hi there - just came on to relay something that I hope you will find comforting. Covid was in my MIL's home from March and was in there for quite some time. The home managed it well as they explained that they are used to protecting residents from various diseases/viruses. My MIL had it early on. She is 92 and she sailed through it with no need for hospital. I thought you might want to hear a positive story :-)

Persephonegoddess · 09/01/2021 09:19

@TVStanding thank you, I need some positives 🤞🏻

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 09/01/2021 09:28

My father's nursing home had it in May. My father had it and recovered - he's 98.

The manager told me that a lot of homes are finding that they're getting a lot of cases where there aren't any symptoms apart from fatigue and loss of appetite - it seems to be presenting a bit differently in care homes.

exiledfromcornwall · 09/01/2021 13:39

I sympathise OP. I too found out yesterday that 3 members of staff in my mother's home have tested positive, including the manageress! Very disappointing as they have done really well keeping the virus out so far. However, they appear to be on it and are taking all necessary steps to keep the residents safe, so I am keeping everything crossed. I have heard quite a few reports of people well into their 90s getting it and recovering, so it is not necessarily a death sentence. HTH.

Persephonegoddess · 09/01/2021 23:46

Thank you all, just waiting to get her latest test results🤞🏻

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 10/01/2021 15:46

including the manageress! Our manager has just returned to work after self isolation after her husband got it. DS's neighbour has it too.

maddywest · 11/01/2021 08:45

There was a lot of Covid early on in my mum's home and unfortunately several people died. Mum was in hospital for a couple of weeks, but recovered. They manage it much much better now, lots of testing and isolation when necessary and of course safety measures in place, it has been asymptomatic and low-symptomatic recently.
Fingers crossed for your mum Persephone.

loveyouradvice · 16/01/2021 19:24

My Mum's just tested positive a week after the vaccine... so far, just feeling unwell and very confused.

I'm so hoping the vaccine will help a bit.

Any tips about supporting her in a care home where I can't visit? I'm going to ask them to give her Vitamin D but not sure what else might help.

They are quite experienced - they've had four small outbreaks of 3-4 people and all recovered.... but don't seem to do anything apart from monitor, ensure drink enough and TLC. They are lovely but anything I can add into the mix would be deeply appreciated.

Crownofthorns · 16/01/2021 19:28

Fingers crossed for your mum.

One of my mum’s elderly cousins who lives full-time in a clinic had Covid a few weeks ago and has made a full recovery. She’s 87 with dementia.

MereDintofPandiculation · 16/01/2021 23:10

@loveyouradvice tried to answer your PM but my OS is old, and neither Firefox nor Safari would allow my message to post - so I'll put it here:

"I'm so sorry to hear that. It's a really scary time, and made worse by having to just stand by, not being able to do anything to help.

Like you, I can't get in and see what the home is doing. As far as I know, they kept everyone isolated in their rooms, then just looked after everyone as normal. My Dad is in a nursing home, so there are two nurses on duty during the day and one at night (it's a small home). I presume they would be monitoring his breathing, and would be ready to test his oxygen levels (I know they have the capacity to do that)

When you've recovered from the initial shock, make sure the home know that you want to be involved in all decisions. You should be able to ask them what they're doing to look after her, how they are monitoring her, ask about what happens if her condition deteriorates. Make a list of everything you want to ask before you telephone, and note down the answers as you get them. It's difficult to remember things when your head isn't straight.

Does she have capacity? Do you have Power of Attorney for health matters?

Think about who you can talk to to get updates on her condition - you may need to ask for someone, eg a nurse, by name. Our home usually get one of the nurses to the phone, but if you do get a carer, they're inclined to say "he's doing fine" whatever the actual situation is.

On the practical front - and this is all theoretical, we hope it doesn't come to that - you should have the DNAR conversation - would she want to be resuscitated if her heart stopped. There's no guarantee she would be, as it's a brutal process and likely to be too much for a frail older person. And the wider discussion of whether she wants to go to hospital if she has difficulty breathing. You would want to ask her chances of recovery in hospital and balance that against palliative drugs and more chance of a final visit if still in the home.

But remember - one figure I've seen for mortality rate of 80-89 year olds testing positive is 14% - and even that high figure means, not just that she's more likely to survive, she's more than 6 times more likely to survive.

What I've read on the internet suggests days 5-10 are critical. If she's still OK 10 days after any symptoms started, it's good news.

My father didn't show any symptoms apart from being far more tired than normal, and he was off his food - uncharacteristic for him - so they think he probably lost his sense of taste (and therefore smell). He tested positive two weeks running, then his next test was negative. He's 98, and male - men are more likely to become seriously ill than women.

Sorry I can't be any more helpful, I haven't been able to see what was going on, and I don't have any medical training. Do ask the "elderly parents" board for support while you're waiting through this worrying time. There's nothing you can do, so try to keep yourself busy with other things. And keep reminding yourself she's much better off in the home being monitored by staff who know what they're doing and what to look for than she would be at home with you.

Keeping fingers crossed for you."

loveyouradvice · 17/01/2021 14:34

Mere thank you for such a lovely long warm and helpful post.

I'm feeling rather tearful - and the toughest thing of course is not being able to go in and hug her or hold her hand.

I keep telling myself that she is in the best place - she is and they are lovely - and that she's most likely to survive but my emotional brain seems to have taken over a bit at the moment.

Luckily we do have power of attorney and know her end of life wishes so that is sorted... it's just thinking of what to do for the best for her now.

And yes, top tip, writing down questions - my brain is a little all over the place at the moment!

Thank you too for the timescales ... that helps. At the moment - day 2 - she is just tired. And tomorrow my favourite carer is on, so going to have a good chat to her - she's very open about Mum is and knows her so well, especially how to encourage her to eat and drink.

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