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Elderly parents

Anxiety

3 replies

Wheelerdeeler · 30/12/2020 18:33

My mother was a fit healthy active 71 year old until October. She developed stomach issues and in early December tests confirmed there was nothing sinister in this but most likely IBS.

I believe it was all triggered by stress and she landed in a vicious circle. Tummy upset led to worry led to no sleep led to further worry and so on.

So she no longer has the worry over something serious being wrong but her appetite is not great & she has lost weight. She is now worried that her defences are so low that if she catches anything it will floor her.

She was full of anxiety and has been put on xanax& anti depression medication.

She is still quite anxious. Small things are a big deal. She will drive locally but not the extra mile to my house for example.

I have found patience i never knew I had. My brothers are local too and I think they are getting fed up.

I've seen her efforts to get better (if you told her 6 months ago she'd be on xanax she'd have laughed at you). She did drive to my house today but I could see she was in a bother.

Where do we go from here? She can't see friends etc due to restrictions so she is finding the days long on her own. We all work & have young kids so call when we can but it's hard. She's very down.

What should we do? What other things can she try?

Im shocked that this is her. It's 36 years since my dad died and she dealt with everything & now its like its all come tumbling down.

OP posts:
JingleJohnsJulie · 31/12/2020 14:43

Your poor Mum. There's not a lot I can suggest really. Would she be able to move in with one of you temporarily?

Age Concern also have a befriending service which might help.

Hopefully someone will be along soon with some answers Thanks

AhmedMalik · 21/06/2022 21:11

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MereDintofPandiculation · 22/06/2022 09:07

Would she be able to move in with one of you temporarily? Not a good idea, it'd be very difficult for her to make the move back to independent living.

Sadly, the best way to overcome anxieties seems to be to keep pushing the boundaries of what you’re comfortable with. You’re still anxious all the time but the restrictions on your life are gradually lifting.

The other thing is lots of preparation, for example I “drive” key parts of new routes on Google Streetview, so I know what the key junctions look like and generally what to expect.

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