Badly behaved/gross elderly parent

[NumNum33]

Does anyone else have to deal with an elderly parent who has lost their inhibitions?

My father is in his early 70s but is in extremely poor health due to years of heavy smoking. The problem is he is now doing gross things in front of me with seemingly no clue he is being disgusting!! Things like extreme throat clearing that leads to regurgitating, breaking wind, you name it...

At the moment I do not say anything but simply walk out of the room which is cowardly I know.

It's causing me a lot of distress but I've no idea what to say to make him think twice about his behaviour. Mentally he checked out a while ago. My mum died 7 years ago and my siblings have not been in contact with us for years.

Feeling pretty desperate. I don't think there's much advice for me but it would be nice to know I'm not alone.

Maybe he can’t help it so doesn’t much care that you find it disgusting?
If you need to clear your throat then you need to do it. If he’s in poor health then he isn’t going to feel like getting up and leaving the room to do it on the off chance it brings phlegm up or makes him fart.
I do understand your disgust. Elderly FIL is a heavy throat clearer and I’ve never seen him eat a meal yet without regurgitating something and putting it on the side of his plate. < not envy.
Bodies are pretty gross and produce gross things, I’m assuming he lives with you? I’m lucky in that FIL isn’t too close and no longer drives, I send DH to visit alone when he can. I’m not sure what you can do tbh

Yes, I have a close relative who has some really gross personal habits like that. I’ve always thought that they are of the opinion they can relax around their own family but I find it upsetting too.
I’m not sure what can be done because I’m not sure they can help it.

Are you caring for him and living with him, @NumNum33? It does get pretty grim. I found it helpful to sort of copy the district nurses’ and other professionals’ bright and breezy approach. But it’s different when you’re there the whole time and you’re family. Do you have respite care so that you at least get a break?

I've read that losing inhibitions is quite common as faculties decline in old age. My father overshares his physical symptoms - not content with telling me the problem, he describes it in vivid detail.I usually say, brightly and firmly, "Dad, I don't need to know the details". If he doesn't realise what he is doing is disgusting, he needs to be told, every single time. Not told off, but just told, firmly and clearly, that that's not something you do when there are people around, and that he needs to leave the room to do it..

Losing inhibition about anti social behaviour is common in early dementia. Maybe you need to discuss with his GP