Am I a Carer and do I need to register as one?

[Hmmph]

My Mum is 78. She lives alone since my Dad died 3 years ago. She is very physically fit and doesn’t need any help with personal care but she does have CLL (currently in remission). She can’t drive or use any technology bar a landline phone. I drive her to all medical appointments and help her book them, do her shopping (she is shielding but before I had to take her shopping). DH and I look after all her money and bills for her (Although no POA currently as Covid stopped us being able to visit a solicitor!). I have to read all her letters for her as she struggles to understand them and gets panicked by them. I have to do all home maintenance for her, such as changing the clocks. We cannot move anywhere else to live as a result. We also have two school aged children. I don’t need financial support and I work part time (would like to go full time, but I need the extra time for caring).

Am I (we?) her Carer? Should I register as such with the GP and what is the point of doing so? Obviously, the caring is only going to get more at her age and if the CLL flares up...

It came to my notice because Carers are entitled to flu and Covid vaccinations to help protect the person they are caring from, which would be great as I would have to worry about taking a deadly disease to her every time I see her (she’s CEV). I am not currently entitled to one as I am in my 40s and only have mild asthma. Having vaccinations would obviously benefit me also. It would seem very wrong to get registered just for this reason and selfish, although I would happily wait until last.

Should I register?

I don't see that it is selfish to get a vaccination as a carer, since your main motivation is that you're worried about giving Covid to her.

Advantages to making it known you're a carer - 1) with her permission, you may be able to talk to the GP and see her medical information. 2) There may be a local carers' network which is a source of support and information. 3) Health professional will be more ready to talk to you, and this is vital if you're the one who is making arrangement.

You don't need a solicitor for PoA. Read all the surrounding guidance. For financial: you can have more than one attorney (and can give the names of reserve attorneys if one of the attorneys is no longer available). They can act jointly (which is a safeguard against abuse - all the attorneys have to agree any expenditure) or jointly and severally (which means one attorney can spend money on their own - useful if Mum is in hospital and needs money spending). And the PoA can take effect only when donor has lost capacity, or when they still have capacity - this means, for example, the donor can carry on doing the discretionary spending but the attorney manages long term savings, for example, or makes sure utility bills are paid.

PoA Health and Welfare is similar but only comes into effect when the donor has lost capacity.

Wtart thinking a bit about the longer term - the caring will only go one way, and you can't do it all. Save yourself for the things that can;t be done by someone else - basically the financial stuff and the help with decisions - and start introducing the idea of paying for help for other things, eg taxi for medical appointments which aren't criticial in terms of you needing to know what was said.

Thank you that was really helpful. It’s very hard as she’s my Mum and quite a hard transition in thinking to make. She should be perfectly capable of stuff too, which makes a “carer” sounds/feel so weird, but she can’t or won’t do things or learn to do things herself. My Dad did his jobs and she did hers and when he died, I helped her by doing his jobs. But now that seems to have become more permanent and she might be relying on me (and DH) more. I don’t know how much is her, how much is ageing and how much is because of Covid shielding...

With regards to POA- I was hoping to get someone independent to advise her as I am very scared/conscious of pushing her into things. She needs to see a solicitor anyway about her Will. But it would work a lot better if I could talk to people like utilities companies for her!

The GPs seem ok to talk to me generally anyway, but it might be better to be formalised, especially for her consultants at the hospital.

I’ll have a chat to her and see what she thinks and go from there. Thanks.

Is she claiming Attendance Allowance? If not, and she gets it, it might help to pay for some costs - say your petrol taking her to appointments?

Do get help from carers association or age uk to complete carers allowance forms- not means tested.
Agree with dint get her used to other help as this will only go one way.

Solicitors are still doing work but it's all by phone etc. If you can get a speakerphone working for your Mum and get her used to it there you go.

If you use a solicitor, there's a national grouping of solicitors specialising in the elderly - worth seeking out one of those.

You don’t need a solicitor to get Lasting Power of Attorney. The forms are very simple and you can get them online then register the attorney with the Office of the Public Guardian. Save your money and do it yourself. It’s really not difficult.

www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

It doesn’t sound like your mother would qualify for attendance allowance, but no harm applying.

You don’t need to register as a career as a relative doing it without payment. You only need to register with the Care Quality Commission if you are providing personal care to someone. That doesn’t mean driving them to appointments or similar.

Yes contact your GP and suggest you should have flu vaccination as a carer. No need to register differently just call and explain.

Sounds a bit like my dm who is panicked by any letters or statements coming in the post. I registered her for online banking, have all communication by email to me, and changed all bills to DD which helped a lot.

With her agreement I did a POA online which made things official as I was already doing everything financial anyway.

I successfully applied for attendance allowance ( she does have health problems as well) and got myself registered as her contact for everything to do with pensions/benefits.

@CherryPavlova You only need to register with the Care Quality Commission if you are providing personal care to someone. Does that still apply if the person is your relative?

Yes contact your GP and suggest you should have flu vaccination as a carer. No need to register differently just call and explain. Yes, I can vouch for that. I was being accepted as, and referred to as, a carer by our GP long before I really considered myself such.

Someone said "old age is when you stop "falling over" and start "having a fall"; and your wife is suddenly called "your carer" "

It's fine to let the dr know. You do not need a solicitor for a poa, it's an online form and fairly simple, or there's people in the community who can help you complete for a modest fee (I do these for people and charge £50 for 2-3 hours of help which is plenty as a guide)

The following is exempt from registration;
;
Any health or social care activity carried out by a carer for a member of their family or someone in a personal relationship, where the care is provided in the course of that family or personal relationship for no commercial consideration.
A family relationship can include people treating each other as if members of the same family, so long as they are living in the same household. A personal relationship means a relationship between or among friends, including family friends.

Definitely let your GP know. You will be offered a flu jab but I looked at the Government’s priority list for Covid vaccines and worryingly, carers dont seem to be included. I only read it briefly and hope I’m wrong so perhaps someone can correct me.

@CherryPavlova Thanks

I provided support and help to my Dad. On of my major worries was what would happen if I became unwell/had an accident as to who would know about him. My brother who was his only other family was often out of the country.My GP surgery (Different GP surgery to my Dads, where I was identified as being his carer and 1st contact)had a system that identified me as being sole carer for him and had his details. Also I carried a flash drive on key ring (ICE)giving his details as being vulnerable and depending upon me for daily support. Slightly off OPs post but I thought could be of interest. Also did LPAs without lawyers.