FIL and his hygiene

[longtompot]

My fil, who I've posted about on here a few times (alcoholic, argumentative, refuser of help as he can do it all) has diarrhoea. My poor dh had to go and clean his place today as he is having a shower fitted, and the poor fitter does not need to deal with how he lives, and there was shit everywhere. He hasn't told me all the info, but he did say he was retching, and it took a long time to clean.
He refuses a cleaner, as 'he can do it all' but he can't.
He had carers coming twice a day to help with basic things like make some dinner or breakfast, but it ended up with fil telling them he'd do it later. Which he didn't.
He buys food, eats a bite, lets it go off, chucks it in a cardboard box for my dh to deal with (he can't work a bin for some reason 😒) and drinks and drinks.
He has run out of underwear, and tea towels because of the aforementioned shit.
What can we do? Any suggestions? He can only have a carer if he agrees he needs help, but he won't. We are in the process of POA for both medical and financial, which I hope will help.

you could contact his gp and tell them of your concerns, they might be able to speak to him or you can contact adult social services and say that you are worried about him but that he is refusing to have any help.
like you say if he refuses help and has the mental capacity to do so then there's not much you can do. how far have you got with the POA application? the diarrhoea could be alcohol related but if there is any chance it could be an infection then I would contact either the gp or environmental health about having the flat properly cleaned

What a truly horrible situation for your DH and you.

www.scie.org.uk/self-neglect/at-a-glance

www.anncrafttrust.org/what-is-self-neglect/

@MrsTwitcher thank you for those links. Really interesting reading. I'll pass them into my dh later this week.
Currently he is getting a walk-in shower cubicle installed (he had a bath before but couldn't get in). If after having this and still not making an effort to clean himself up, I think he will call the gp and discuss where to go. With having those links hopefully they will give him a bit more leverage to try and get someone to help him.

Good luck with it all. My nan wasi insistent that she could do everything but then fell off a chair broke her hip changing a lightbulb.

Just wondering how things are going this week? Is he making any effort with the shower?

The shower is taking time to be fitted sadly but should be in soon. Before anyone says anything, he hasn't used a shower or bath for a very long time as there has always been a reason why he couldn't. Usually cba rather than any actual issue.
Still much the same this week. I've sent my dh the links Mrs Twitcher gave me, so when he is in the right frame of mind he will give them a read.
We have heard he might be eligible for attendance allowance, so I am getting him the details for Age Uk to help him fill the forms out. If he does get it, then we can get him a cleaner twice a week which will help my dh as currently he is having to clean for about 3 hours each time. I have also spoken to fil about using disposable pants as he's currently throwing away underwear and clothes.