All too much

[anotherdoghere]

Hello lovely ladies, I wonder if I could offload on you all. Sadly my dads lovely wife has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, we are beyond devastated. His wife who I shall call Fran has no children

Or any other family. My dad lost my mum over 20 years ago to MS and really struggled to cope then. He seems unable to accept the diagnosis now and is carrying on as if it is not happening, planning days out, weekend breaks etc.
We really do not know how to support him. He has no friends, unable to drive due to age, he has been so lonely whilst Fran has been in hospital, I dread to imagine what he will be like when she passes. I myself are struggling as well, I have depression (managed by medication) I also care for my three grandsons part time. My husband is wonderful and helps me all he can but I
Just feel we are sinking into a big black hole. My dad is getting slightly forgetful and I worry what the future will hold. At present I talk to him every day and visit 2/3 times a week. Thank you for reading x

I'm sorry you are going through this.

It's way outside my experience, so I don't have anything practical to suggest. I'd just say - accept any help that is offered. Look after yourself (else you can't help anyone else) and concentrate your efforts on finding resources - look at the Cancer organisation's website, Macmillans nurses, CHC funding, attendance allowance. Organise taxis, don't get sucked into being a taxi driver - don't do anything yourself that others can do, save your energies for the things that only you can do.

And try not to let yourself think of the future. Concentrate all your efforts on what you all need now, cope with the future when it comes. If you find yourself thinking about it, then drag your mind on to some other problem.

Is a cleaner affordable? You could frame it however you think best to get him to accept it, but it would get someone for him to talk to.
The local Age UK might be able to help: www.ageuk.org.uk/services/in-your-area/home-help/

Does Fran have friends who could give him a ring? Are you able to phone her in hospital, or is she going through so much that this sort of discussion just wouldn't be practical?

I am sorry you are going through this.

Thank you ladies my two wonderful daughters clean for him as it is the only persons he will allow to do it. ( he also insists on paying them but that is another matter)!! Fran does have several friends who are calling her but obviously cannot visit. I will contact age concern for some advice. It is just a horrible situation xx