Refusal to make decisions / deal with stuff

[Orangeblossom7777]

Has anyone else had issues with this before? And then they keep saying they 'don;t know what to do' but it you suggest solutions none are right?

It can be very frustrating. Trying to help elderly parents with closing down their business / clearing out stuff. Have suggested storage solutions and a house clearance place. It is costing too much where they are and the end of their lease. Starting to think they just won't let go and that is the problems really. The psychological attachment to 'stuff'

All the ‘end of’ decisions - like end of driving, end of going holidays were only achieved after a ‘disaster’... and then happened and the subject not really revisited. Your parents sound younger so perhaps still time to achieves these natural downsizing moments amicably without flashpoints.
I guess breaking down the ‘big decision’ into small actions, like winding down one business activity rather than all of them may be way to go. However, perfectly likely that won’t be a viable solution.
As to the letting go of stuff - as DM got more and more demented, holding on to it became an obsession and trigger fir more problems. I guess if parents are not willing to do it when they have all their wits about them, then it definitely won’t happen later on ...

They are late 70s however he has a serious health problem and yes it has taken driving - although a bit in denial about that one still.

Yes I see, this one is about letting go of stuff. But it is too costly to keep and store so causing much stress.

With some they can be very avoidant and it all has to get to crisis point before they allow you to help them. That was my mother. My DF age 95 is much more reasonable and is happy to have a rational conversation and agree an action at the end of it. In the meantime I'm chipping away at the hoard he has inherited. Maybe if it all comes home to live with them they might accept it needs a good sort out?

Mil was like this and dh and his sister had to just tell her what was going to happen then just kind of do it. She was always very passive and a bit infantalised tbh.

She wouldn't get carers or a cleaner in and ended up having a fall then went into a care home because she was so dependent upon dh by that point and had faffed around so much, but hadn't made arrangements that would have facilitated her staying at home.

It's best to try and get them to retain some decision making skills if possible.

It is a shop rented from the council and come to the end of the lease so have to leave, it costs a fortune. Even thinking about it stresses me out.

Would it help if an accountant told them the options rather than you?

It may help when the council tell them they are going to reclaim the shop due to rent arrears perhaps.

Yes, that might be the disaster that hastens them into action. It would be good however if you could make an intervention that saves them haemorrhaging money even quicker. Which I guess, OP, was your original question.
My DParents always listened more to strangers as they progressed in years but regressed in faculty.

With the lockdown, non essential businesses are closed and they will get a grant to cover some costs I suppose. Maybe they will have compassionate grounds also.