Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Elderly parents

Please can I have a ramble?

1 reply

madnessitellyou · 26/10/2020 16:18

I feel like I'm losing my mind with my elderly parents.

Df, nearly 91, in pretty good shape mentally but not great physically. Has end stage renal failure, has had numerous falls resulting in broken bones (including his back recently) and cannot walk. He's had a stair lift fitted, door in the bath, has a walker etc.

The problem is my mother, 15 years his junior. COPD which is very poorly controlled and she still smokes. Has frequent dizzy spells for which she refuses to seek help and is becoming increasingly forgetful and at times aggressive with it. I suspect dementia. She cannot stand the fact she might need to help my dad a little and has informed him she will not be caring for him at all (in much the same way that she informed me that she would never babysit which she's stuck to in the 13 years since dc1 was born but that's another thread!)

Me and dh do what we can. We both work ft and have dc. We live locally so get shopping in etc. Their neighbours look out for them too. I have come to dread the daily call of what's happened and new ways that my mother has annoyed my father (yesterday was that she sorts out his pill sorter thing and decided not to tell him he'd run out of something on the grounds it would be hard to reorder). On that, they refuse to do anything electronically even though they actually do have devices at home. I spent about an hour yesterday urging them to sort out electronic prescriptions and prescription delivery.

I just need to offload all of this. I feel like a crap daughter atm but I'm being driven crazy!

OP posts:
Knotaknitter · 26/10/2020 17:20

Your mum has shown you the way. She has said that she has no intention of doing any care - if it's ok for her then it's ok for you. Your dad needs help, it's not going to come from your mum and (drum roll please) it doesn't all have to come from you. I imagine the assumption is that madness will do everything but there are alternatives that would allow you to have a family life of your own. The thing is that they aren't going to look at alternatives while they have you there running about.

What would make your life easier? Gardener, cleaner, meals service, what would you want a carer to be doing?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page