Ways to support widowed Mum in regional lockdown

[33goingon64]

My Dad died in December and Mum (77) been alone since. She lives 3 hours away from me, 90 mins from my brother and 30 mins from my sister. She's always been very independent and is managing very well on her own in terms of finding ways to keep busy and positive. She drives and isn't afraid to go out for things she really wants to do. But she is in an area with no gatherings in homes allowed, her usual classes she enjoys are not running at the moment, she's got some health issues which make it hard for her to walk far, and she has a few good friends but they're not people she sees very regularly. I call her twice a week (my siblings call on the other days) and we're going to visit at half term (she's in our support bubble). But I'm trying to think of other ways I can support her and suggestions for keeping busy. I really admire her ability to look after herself mentally and physically but I wonder if she might run out of resources soon. She's mentioned dreading this winter. Any ideas out there you'd be willing to share?

Is she tech-savvy? Could you do some Facetime/Zoom calls? Maybe suggest some crafty hobbies for the winter that she can do at home? I guess your sister can visit weekly and your brother more often than you.

If you put lots of family meet up dates in her diary then hopefully she will always have something to look forward to. It is so hard for our elderly relatives isn't it? Nice of you to be looking out for her.

Thanks. She paints, so she will do that more. She's not keen on videocalls but I'll suggest it again. In normal circumstances my brother and sister would be visiting regularly but they're not allowed at the moment. If the local lockdown continues it's going to be a lonely winter for her.

See if there's something to learn over winter - it's a way of bringing something positive out of it. DH, who is the same age, has learnt the programming required to design objects that can be printed on his newly-acquired 3-d printer - something solid he can bring out of lockdown, and any learning creates new pathways in the brain and hopefully nudges dementia a bit further down the road.

Is she keeping tabs on people she knows and making sure they're OK? I have friends who are coping OK with lockdown and others who are finding it hard, and making sure I keep in touch with them not only helps them, it gives me needed social contact too.

It's a shame she isn't into video calls - a lot of classes and activities have moved on-line, and there are a lot of Zoom opportunities at the moment. And even if her classes aren't doing anything, there might be scope for her to set up something with anyone else who is interested, whetehr that's people from the classes or whether she advertises on facebook.

Can you and your siblings post her the occasional box of surprises every month. It’s about £8 to courier a box and I do it regularly to my student 400 miles away. I just buy an extra lip salve, stock cubes etc magazine, scratch card , advent calendar and even send some home baking in air tight container that she can then reuse in her kitchen. But you could send recipes and newspaper articles, magazines you are finished with and children’s paintings and just hand written thoughts or the Lakeland catalogue. We often get prints of photos taken on our phones sent to the care home.)

Really nice ideas, thanks.

Would it be better if she was in a support bubble with the sibling who lives closest then she could visit them more often?