Mum in hospital

[Flowersmakemyday]

My mum was admitted to hospital at the weekend and due to Covid we are not allowed to visit her. Normally I'm on top of what is happening, asking questions, making sure everything that should be done is being done. But I feel so useless this time. Every time I ring I keep getting told that they are waiting for doctors, waiting for scans, CT's, etc. I know it's a waiting game because they don't know what is wrong with her, but they keep telling me she has delirium, is agitated and I can't stand the idea of her not realising that we can't visit, in case she feels abandoned.

If she has delirium it might well not make any difference if you were there. For a short period in my Mum's final illness she had delirium from a UTI and me being there didn't always seem to sink in.

Hopefully she will get a bit more with it after treatment and then you can phone her. I realize at the moment it might not really work if she's just out of it.
Sending hugs and 💐 - hang on in there - usually in every ward there are some nurses and care assistants who are simply sweethearts so your Mum will have someone being kind to her inbthe way that you would want.

Flowersmakemyday I just happened across your post and had to answer. I'm in a very similar position. My very elderly mum, who's been coping sort-of-ok (lives alone, manages with input from me and siblings, but is frail) had a fall and needed to be admitted to hospital last week. Nothing major broken but bruised and cut and very shaken up.

We're finding it incredibly stressful to get any information and detail about her condition, prognosis etc. We've actually now managed to get a phone to her but she's not very good at answering it and I'm getting so anxious about how woozy and out of it she sounds, which is so unlike her (obviously I do realise she's unwelland undoubtedly shocked...). None of the nursing staff communicates anything, we have to pursue them. We haven't been able to speak to a doctor, either.

I know that's not much help but I wanted to offer a handhold. I was going to post on the Cockroach Cafe thread, that may be an option for you too? I know from the past how helpful that can be.

Sorry I've not been back but she took a turn for the worse and we were called into hospital at 6am the other morning. She has hospital acquired pneumonia and it's touch and go at the moment. I have to say that the nurses are really lovely and the doctors have been very honest with us. Just getting through each day at a time now, but we have open access to her wish is good.

*which

I'm so sorry to hear that Flowers. But I'm glad you can be with her. All the best to you.

Mum has been palliative since Monday, but is still with us. The hospital MacMillan nurse has arranged for us to be moved into a suite - larger room, kitchenette, put up bed and recliners. We are here 24 hours a day with her. They even have this amazing bed called a 'cuddle bed'. They can pull extra bits out at the side and you can lay next to her. After 5 days its starting to get harder now just sitting and waiting.

I’m glad you came back to update flowers. This must be so hard for you but to be able to be with your mum is a wonderful bonus and I’m sure you will be glad of that. Please accept a handhold from me.

Thanks Elective, that means so much.

So sad but what a positive update. Hold her, cuddle her and fight her corner.

I'm very glad you're able to be with her op. I hope it's gentle for her 💐

Mum passed very peacefully in the early hours of this morning. I was asleep in the room and my husband was watching her overnight. He woke me as soon as he realised what had happened and I was able to cuddle her. A neighbour from my childhood was working on the ward and she got her ready, which was a lovely link to her past. Although at times it's been upsetting seeing her this way, it has actually been a very positive experience and I feel unusually calm about it all. Thank you all for your support, it has meant so much to me.

I’m so sorry to hear about your mum but how wonderful you got to spend that last time with her

My thoughts are with you flowers. So sad for you but I'm also so happy you could be with your mum and that you were able to be close by her when it really mattered.