Dad refused to go for his colonoscopy

[feelingsicknow]

Just that really. He's been losing weight and looking 'ill' for a while. After much persuading I got him to see a doctor and give some blood and stool samples.

Then the hospital asked him to come in for a colonoscopy because the results of his FIT test were concerning (he claimed he'd never seen blood in his stools or that he'd noticed a change in movements). Cancer has long been a concern of mine because of his lifestyle but he has ignored all bowel cancer reminders that have ever been sent to him since he turned 60 - he's 72 now.

Managed to get him to go for the pre-procedure Covid Test last week and collected his pre-colonoscopy laxative. Bought him everything he needed to eat/drink in the few days running up to it.

Yesterday, on the day of his appointment, I ring him to ask how the laxatives have gone and remind him I'm picking him up at certain time - and he tells me that he is too ill and is refusing to go to the appointment.

I know he's scared, but what can I do? My DH spoke to him to try and persuade him (I get too uptight and emotional) and I even got my DM, his ex-wife, to plead with him. But he stubbornly refuses.

Oh OP that must be so hard. I really feel for you.

It looks as though your entirely justified attentive and concerned approach may be hitting a bit of a brick wall here. I'm wondering if anyone else - either the GP, or perhaps a specialist nurse at the hospital, might be in a better positions to talk him round than you are.

Given what happened today, can you talk to either the GP or the hospital, and enlist their help? It probably isn't that unusual an occurrence, they may have some practice with this sort of situation, and aren't going to get upset themselves, which you are bound to do.

Sorry, yesterday not today.

Thank you. I'm going to speak with him tomorrow. I had to leave it today as I was so annoyed with him I knew we wouldnt get anywhere.

He says he wants to speak to his GP so I'll try and facilitate that and see if there are other options.

I guess I post because I'm an only child and he's an only child too so there really is no one else - family wise - to help.

It's exhausting.

Good luck OP, I hope the GP is sympathetic to the "whole man" - fears and all - and to you as well.