You are the one talking nonsense, CherryPalova.
I was not talking about DNR. That is a different issue - what happens when a person's heart stops. Oddly, that is one area where the law really does kick in. If DNR is not in place, legally the paramedics or whoever must resuscitate or they get into big trouble, even if the patient has clear extreme dementia and was on the way out anyway. I've no real issue with DNR, as to resuscitate is a very onerous and traumatic intervention and if someone is slipping away it can simply lead to a horrible demise. I know of one daughter whose mum was on respite in a care home, she was DNR and had a massive heart attack but because the DNR papers were not on site, she had to be resuscitated and the last 24 hours were hell for her. Eventually something had to be administered to put her out of her misery and the hospital chaplain had to strongarm that to happen. Of course, according to CherryPalova, nothing like that could ever happen.
The whole DNR stringency misleads the public into thinking that covert end-of-life care doesn't happen.
Presumably the stories about Gosport are 'twaddle' too - and maybe they are because no charges have been brought. Fact is, that would open a massive can of worms and successive police forces appear to have been warned off pursuing it despite all the evidence and column inches devoted to it.
It is you who are talking twaddle, CherryPalova. Stories are rife about dehydration and malnutrition in care homes. Nobody gets held responsible for it. I wonder why?
Fact is, it is very hard to prove that an elderly person's dehydration or malnutrition was down to poor care and not just a person giving up at the end of their days. Care home malpractice is endorsed by the corrupt CQC which sits on bad care home reports for up to eight months - keeps them secret in other words - as the bodies pile up and families are kept in ignorance. That happened at two care homes my mother was at, and both nearly killed her. Nobody held responsible but relatives who sniff around the issue get harassed by Social Services.
But I'm pushing at an open door, surely? After Covid-19 was ushered into care homes, killing thousands, what outrage did we hear from the CQC, the NMC and local Safeguarding teams? Nothing - not a shot fired in anger. So you decide whether you want to believe me or the the official line on this.
Yeah, talk to your parent/relative about what they want and get it in writing more to the point or it never happened. Of course, if they've lost mental capacity and are not very conversant you can't do that, and Social Services step in. They are, it turns out, a law unto themselves and wholly toxic.
In fact, you'll be in much the same position as those parents who've had their kids placed on end-of-life care and won't be allowed to take them out of the country for potentially life-saving treatment. Once the State has its hooks into you, it will not let go.
In 7 Surrey care homes over six years, I never heard of a Respect form. In the last three years my sister and I had to take it in turns to visit the care home daily to tend to Mum and give her drink as successive care homes refused to do so - never in writing, of course. When we handed in our notice, after paying a grand a week, the care home simply contacted Social Services who put a stop to the move. Did the usual fit-up, pretending to be our new best friends - 'Would you like to get your mother back to the family home?' no intention of allowing that of course, then tasked the care home with acquiring dirt on us to allow them to obtain the Deputyship of my mother and assume total control. Utter bastards, we almost fell for it.
Never presume to tell me what I do or don't know about adult social care in this country, CherryPalova.