Both my parents are fit and healthy and in their 70’s. I had a happy childhood but they were busy building up a business and we hardly ever saw my dad. They still work in the family business with no sign of slowing down or retiring. I have a very up and down relationship with both of them. My dad only contacts me if he needs me to do something for him. He is also very controlling. I’ve never had what I would call a traditional mother/daughter relationship with my mum despite trying over the years to do things like shopping trips and afternoon teas etc. I am in my 50’s, happily married with 2 fantastic teenage children. My parents have 2 other grandchildren by my brother. They have been very involved with the upbringing of my niece and nephew and have more or less brought them up. I have to fight to get the same recognition for my 2 children - all I want is for the 4 of them to be treated the same. This has been going on for years and I am so fed up of it. We just go round in circles. We fall out, we don’t speak, I feel guilty so I get back in touch and it all just starts over again. We’re currently in a no contact phase. We moved to a new house 9 weeks ago and my parents are still to come and visit. My mum has made promises to come at least 4 times and not shown up. We live about 10 mins from them. My son was 16 the other week and she didn’t come to see him. He’s very upset as this is the first time she has never made an effort to see him on his birthday. I am so cross but now starting to feel guilty that I’m not in touch with them, but I know it will just be the same old, same old and I haven’t got the energy to go through this all again.
I just don’t know what to do, I feel a lot of my guilt is because I want to be seen to be doing the right thing but then I feel it’s all a show. Thanks for reading my long post x