Driving

[thatplaceinjordan]

Mum is a stubborn 80+ fairly fit lady. Her hearing is degrading at an alarming rate and she suffers from tinitus and meniers which can lay her out for a few days if she has an attack.
She gave her car up at the beginning of the year because a) she wasn't using it and b) was being ripped off by the dealership on servicing etc.
She has since been talking to her 'peers' and decided she shouldn't have given up her freedom, she would have done so much over lockdown if she'd had a car!!! FFS!

Anyway we compromised and purchased a car together as having 3 cars for one household when we have an oap, a shift worker and a part time worker is excessive.
COVID means that realistically the shift worker won't need to car for work as much as before, plus the congestion charge changes makes it very expensive to drive in London.

So from not having driven since probably last November and certainly not having driven any great distance since last August when she took 3 days to drive from London to Devon, mum has announced she is driving to my brothers in wales next week!
I'm so stressed I can't tell you.
The Devon drive she stops at friends for one night and then a hotel another night, driving to wales which is only just a little closer she is planning on doing in one day!!!
She's driven the new car twice to the local garden centre so far.
Talk me off the edge people.

Suggest that she has some practice drives. Remind her (even if it's not true) how difficult you found it getting used to driving again.

Give her a list of accommodation phone numbers and taxi numbers should she need it. Has she got breakdown cover? It would be a good idea.

She'll be fine. My father used to drive from the Cotswolds to Yorkshire into his late 80s, with not much driving in between. When the day comes, tell her you're going out and won't have mobile phone coverage, then switch off your phone for the day so you're not twitching all day waiting for a phone call, and occupy yourself so you're not thinking and worrying.

Does she get sudden attacks of dizziness? If so has she informed DVLA/insurance? They both have to be notified - there are penalties for not notifying dvla and insurance could be invalid.

I think that meniers has to be notified to the DVLA. I might be wrong, but I think it does. Has she done that? She could be driving illegally if she hasn't.

A 91 year old woman killed a 3 year old boy with her car earlier this year in Edinburgh. Absolutely heartbreaking. If you really feel your mother's ability to drive safely is diminished, take her keys off her. It might wreck your relationship with her for a while but I feel strongly that younger relatives need to step in when they can see an older relative is a liability on the road ☹️ it's incredibly difficult for them to accept their diminished freedom and declining health, we need to help them!