Worried about Nan - dementia?

[catsarebetterthandogs9]

My Nan is in her late 70's. For about 2 years now I've been getting increasingly worried that she is displaying symptoms of Alzheimer's/dementia. I've previously worked in care a long time ago so know a few of the signs. My mum does most of her care, takes her shopping weekly and takes her to appointments.
A few examples: She forgets doctors/hospital appointments (despite us putting them on a calendar for her). Before lockdown I picked her up to take her shopping and she said she'd just found a beef stew in the oven that she'd prepared the previous day for dinner, put in the oven but forgot to turn it on then just forgot about it completely so she'd not eaten the previous day. She gives my mum a weekly amount of money to put aside for Christmas/saving for replacements items and every week now she'll ring my mum saying she hasn't paid her, when she already has but she's forgotten. She's also getting increasingly aggressive and I can tell she's frustrated with herself when she's forgotten something.
I don't see her that often and obviously less so at the moment so these are just things I've witnessed.
I am quite up front about things and have said to Nan she needs to speak to a GP but she refused. I've spoke to my mum and asked her to do it but I think she's also in denial, and she doesn't understand much either.
What can my next step be? Do I report to adult social care?
She'd likely refuse anyone to speak to her, and deny access to her home and deny anything is wrong but I am so worried. She lives alone and I'm genuinely concerned she's going to accidentally kill herself.

There are so many treatable causes of Alzheimer’s type symptoms -B12 deficiency, vitamin D deficiency, thyroids issues, UTI’s. Could you discuss that angle with her? She may be scared of an Alzheimer’s diagnosis so not want to speak to Dr but if you put it that there is possibly something fixable that is causing her memory problems she may be more willing to speak to Dr.

@Fatherbrownsbicycle thanks for your reply. Yes I did explain that it may be treatable and there's many things the dr can try. It fell on death ears. I think she knows something isn't right and is understandably frightened but something needs to happen because she just isn't safe

Also just to add. She has A LOT of other medical conditions. Type 2 diabetes (that she also ignores all advice on), osteoarthritis and I'm sure there's others. She has regular check-ups with the Dr, regular blood tests etc.

You can write to her GP with your concerns. They will not be able to discuss her condition with you, but they may take it up with her.

Regular blood tests for diabetes wouldn’t include B12, thyroid or vitamin D and often, unless specified, a full blood count isn’t even tested.
As per pp if you write to the Dr with your concerns they may add additional screening bloods to her next tests.

I'd try again with your Gran but take a different tack. A degree of memory loss in older people is not that unusual, however, it's definitely better to get an early diagnosis as there are medications that can really help.
Plus there are various gadgets to help with taking medication for example and ensuring ovens don't get left on. All these things help you stay well and independent much longer.
People with memory loss become excellent at coping (and hiding) the problem until it gets really bad. Reassure your gran that with a bit of intervention now - if it's needed- she is keeping herself safe.

It could be something really simple that can be fixed in a week - if she doesn't mention it to the doctor then she isn't giving them the chance to sort it out. If it is something more long term then knowing about it won't make it any worse.

It could be as simple as her blood sugar being out of whack. One relative started confusing day and night, couldn't remember what she had eaten for her last meal, couldn't remember her daughter's name, fell multiple times a day. Once the district nurse took over monitoring her blood sugar she is back to her normal self. If I hadn't seen it for myself then I wouldn't have believed the change.

You could call the doctor, they won't discuss her with you but hopefully the next time she's in for a routine appointment they can talk to her about it.

What is it you think she's going to do to herself accidentally?

Thank you everyone who's replied.

@MereDintofPandiculation I didn't know I could do that. I obviously don't expect to discuss with them but I want to let them know.

@Beamur thanks, I will look into anything we can do to help. Yes I worry that what we're seeing is the tip of the iceberg and only because it now has got that bad that it's visible to us. I don't know what else is going on.

@Knotaknitter that's interesting. Her blood sugars are almost always out of whack, she laughs about it. She doesn't follow the doctors advice re diet etc (I do understand that she wants to enjoy her life I'm not trying to kill all joy for her, but she may be making herself very poorly).
My main concern is that she's going to leave the gas oven on, or fall over/injure herself and not be able to get any help because she always forgets to put her alarm on.

It could be her diabetes then. My relative lied and continued to lie about how well they were controlling their condition but they had stopped monitoring their blood sugar, then the battery went in the monitor, then they had forgotten how to use it, then the first reading came back over 29. At this point they were falling three times a day and not surprisingly ended up in hospital with a head injury where it was found that their blood sugar was sky high. It turned out that as well as not monitoring it they'd stopped taking their medication. The result was insulin administered daily by the district nurse and it has been transformational.

It won't be a laughing matter if she loses her sight or a foot.

What we did with a relative was have a word with the GP. The GP called the relative in. She went, telling us it was "one of those things they're doing with everyone". That way, it was handing over the responsibility and dignity to her at that stage.
It was Alzheimer's.
Your gran might be, might not be. But whatever it is, it won't get better without a check. My Aunt was often having confusional delirious phases because of her diabetes.

As a side note, if someone hasn't already got Power of Attorney for your Nan it's a good idea to organise it now, while she still has capacity.
Obviously she needs to be on board with this as it is officially her who would be applying. It saves an awful lot of trouble later on if and when she does lose mental capacity.