I've often been on this board and am still reading but I'm really struggling with my mum's situation and could do with thinking it through.
Root of the problem may be I'm still behaving as if my mum is the woman she used to be.
Mum is 85 and lives alone in a flat in a small development with a warden in the centre of a village. She has lived there 2 years and hates it - wrong area (fair as she lived in the far south and this is the Cotswolds), too many people nearby, too dark (fair), no garden (it does have a garden but at the front so less private). She wants to move. She is becoming very forgetful and i think likely has early dementia though it may just be minor impairment. We three children have financial POA.
It is becoming obvious now that if she ever does move, she will need significant support to do so. She has officially sold the flat, but sometimes forgets who she has sold it through. She has more viewers coming next week. Sometimes she decides to pull out of the sale but doesn't inform the estate agent, then carries on.
She doesn't know where she wants to move to. Either near her sister, near her boyfriend (who is married and shielding with his wife) or near the sea. These are all 100 miles away. Priorities change every time she talks about it. She hasn't been to look at any places though will describe things she has seen online.
My sister is determined she should stay where she is. My brother is moderately neutral but defers to us as he lives in another country so can't share the burden, though he calls without fail three times a week. I think she has a right to try and be happier, but am very daunted at the idea of trying to help her move- it almost killed us all last time - i was only recently widowed with a grieving son and it was so tough. I'm working and getting time off is like hen's teeth, plus my son is still a teenager - the idea of a week away to help her look at places isn't much fun and would be a logistical nightmare. Maybe I need to do it though.
She refused the idea of a GP appointment for her mood and memory. I wrote to them but there's been no response i know about (not expecting one to me).
I think I shrink from trying to use any persuasive power to get her to stay where she is. I hate that she's unhappy and feel it's my/our fault. I dont know what to do for the best.